When you say nothing at all
by OliveLouisa
Summary: It's Martin's, birthday and Louisa insists he has a dinner to celebrate, but she has invited other people too...Can they be civilised and present a united front for their guests? Not set in a particular series but Louisa hasnt had the baby yet.
1. Desire

**…When you say nothing at all.**

CHAPTER ONE: Desire

He absolutely could not resist it any longer, they had sat there civilly at dinner with their guests, but his mind kept wandering to the time he could spend with Louisa after they had left. He had to find a way to make them leave early so he could spend the rest of the evening with her, alone.

Martin had managed to ensure Louisa sat next to him around his antique wooden dining table while their guests (all of which Louisa had invited for him) were sat opposite them and at the ends of the table. Traditionally, the host should sit at the head of the table opposite his hostess at the other end, but Martin had made some pompous excuse for the new arrangement so that he could be closer to Louisa. Social occasions are always painful he thought to himself, as Louisa was deeply engaged in conversation with the two women at her end of the table. He was still trying to remember why he had agreed to let her hold a meal for his birthday, he hardly spoke to the people she had invited and Aunty Joan was visiting friends in Exeter meaning she could not attend. She was the only other person he could imagine spending more than half an hour in the company of. As the two smartly dressed men at his end of the table were discussing the recent coalition, Martin found his mind wandering.

He began to imagine all the things he would love to say to Louisa, all those times when he had messed up their relationship and almost lost her for good. Though, he knew better than anyone that dwelling on past mistakes just makes things worse. His thoughts lingered not a moment longer on the past but the very near future when he would have the woman he loved back to himself. He stole a glance sideways at her, still deep in conversation her face moving quickly from concentration to a bright laugh which filled the room, and sent a shock Goosebumps down his spine. When Louisa was happy it was like the sun was shining, shining through the grey clouds of a bad day, drying up any situations which had gone wrong during surgery and cheering him up after all the people who wasted his time thinking the surgery was just a glorified café or insulted him by calling him a 'tosser' throughout the day. He longed to improve his manner, his speech, his intonation, his language so that he could make her laugh like that, just once.

He looked down at her hand longing it to be in his; it was resting delicately on her lap, playing carelessly with the napkin protecting her new dress. Although Louisa thought he never noticed when she brought new things, he always did. But let her believe that he didn't so that no offence was caused when he said the wrong thing. This new dress was different to any of the others she owned, a deep royal blue, tapered to her elegant figure, draped effortlessly over one shoulder with a silvery clasp to give the illusion it was the only thing holding the top half of the dress up. Unlike many of the skirts Louisa wore to work, like the pale blue one with the white fish on for example, this dress came in just above her knees, making her look taller and even thinner than Martin knew she was. He often admired her like this, to himself, where he knew he could cause no offense.

In the company of others he would mainly admire her from a far, but frequently when she was sleeping he would pull back the covers to look at her resting peacefully, snoring ever so gently. Occasionally when she had been curled up to him, on nights when he seemly had done something right or perhaps he just hadn't done something to upset her, he didn't have to look because he could feel her body. The smoothness of her skin, the tickle of her hair on his chest, the sweet smell of her shower gel that still seemed to linger not only on her skin like it did now. But in the bathroom long after she had left for work, the slight static from the hairs on her arms as they rubbed softly against the duvet as she moved slightly in her sleep. The feel of her cold feet as they rested lightly beside his ankles… thinking about it Martin recalled that her feet were often cold and that she should let him examine her to check the blood flow to her extremities was sufficient. Realising, if he was subtle about it, he could do it while trying to romantically hold her hand while no one was watching.

He started to move his hand slowly, like in the taxi many years before; after Peter Cronk's accident, not meaning to alarm her. He attempted to keep looking as much involved in the conversation closest to him which had moved from a reasonably acceptable subject of Politics to which Politicians wives were more attractive. Currently the men were scoring David Cameron's wife's bottom with an 8 out of 10. Martin grimaced bringing more attention to himself that he meant to, scoffing in disgust at the turn in conversation. The man to his left looked past Martin at the floating hand that was hovering just above Louisa's now. Gradually the whole table was turning to look at him and the general direction his hovering hand was. Louisa turned to face Martin, but looked almost immediately from his reddening face, following everyone else's eye line to where his hand was now hanging embarrassed at his side. Feeling mortified that his rash attempt at romance had been discovered, he left his hand where is now was and tried to engage the gentlemen on a more sensible topic of conversation; the age diversity in people who get type 2 diabetes.

Having accidently dropped his napkin off his lap he moved his chair backwards slightly to retrieve it, he noticed a serving spoon had also found its way to the floor. Martin sighed as he went to retrieve the spoon and his napkin. Louisa, who had been keeping a close eye on Martin, bent her head down towards his and tapped him gently on the shoulder, while uttering his name in the usual familiar way that he loved. The contact between them made Martin jump and bringing his head up abruptly, and unceremoniously collided with Louisa. Automatically and without thinking when he heard the small cry and saw her wincing face, his hands were on her head as he kissed it better rubbing her head softly so as not to ruin her beautifully sculptured hair.

As conversation returned to normal and the fuss of the recent head bumping scenario died down, Martin was getting more embarrassed that he was ruining the social occasion for Louisa. Smiling to herself Louisa, reached across below the table toward Martins hand, it was on his leg gently tapping the chair as he considered whether kissing Louisa in front of their guests was appropriate. When he looked down and found her tiny hand nestled in his, her dainty fingers interlinked with his own and squeezing gently, he squeezed it back thoughtfully.

The broadest smile he had worn in a long time occupied Martin's face as he no longer cared that the conversation had taken an even bigger turn for the worse as they were discussing which Top Gear presenter had the worst hairstyle. Having only briefly seen the title of this inane drivel as he flicked through the Radio Times to the documentary channel on a very lonely evening without Louisa, he had absolutely no idea who Richard Hammond, James May or Jeremy Clarkson were. But from the sounds of things Hammond was the one reason why the ladies watched this preposterous excuse for entertainment; he was the male equivalent of the new mildly prettier woman who replaced Carol Vorderman on Countdown. James May was in for comic value, the one who always did things 'wrong' but from the sounds of thing drove at a sensible speed not joining in with the ridiculously mundane competitions the others took part in. The last idiot, whatever his name was… Clarkman, well he just sounds like a complete arse who doesn't understand the importance of promoting sensible and realistic car models and decent prices that people would be able to drive around in every day. Cars that would mean that the general public didn't think they were the best thing since sliced bread. Cars that meant they wouldn't be acting like an insolent pack of screeching hyenas, rather like the irritating teenage girls who, still despite Louisa moving in, continued to stand outside his house making outlandish comments.

Martin had been so het up insulting the imbeciles from the television in his head, he hadn't noticed that his hand, still being held by Louisa was resting on her lap. As his kitchen table wasn't particularly large, it was not surprising that he hadn't noticed, his arm still was significantly bent and not extended fully as it might have been round a larger table. For once he was glad that he could have hold of Louisa's hand without anyone else having to know, he had noticed that she had moved her chair slightly close to him to enable them to be closer. She tapped his hand which was holding her left with her right hand signalling for him to let go momentarily while she poured herself another glass of wine and him another glass of water. But when Louisa went to take his hand she found that it was no longer where she had left it. Sighing to herself, she resumed the conversation with whose around the table about children and pregnancy when she jumped with surprise to a hand being placed on her knee. After assuring her guests that it was just a twinge of sciatica and assuring Martin that she didn't need a medical examination in the middle of dinner, (whispering to him she was just surprised to see him making the first move) and winking.

The conversation turned back to the summer holiday plans, and once again Martin had switched off. Louisa could see in his face that his thoughts were probably with patients or the medical journal she had had to take from his sleeping hands the night before. So she wondered whether she could bring his thoughts back into the room, back to the table perhaps, even back to her?

Once again, she took his hand in hers. It was almost as if he was expecting her this time, as the flinch was only very gentle. Louisa knew she had power over Martin that no one else had and was sure that she could make this go as she wanted to, without the rest of the dinner party realising. As one of the women excused herself for the lavatory and the two men, much to Martin's disapproval went outside for a cigarette and some fresh air Louisa made her move. She knew she only had a few minutes before there was a full table, engaging herself in conversation with the last remaining woman (to make her next move less obvious) was a good plan, as the woman kept eye contact throughout their next turn of discussion. Taking Martin's hand and replacing it gently on her knee has it had been before she patted it with her hand and took a sip of wine. She felt Martin relax, she knew he enjoyed touching her and the fact that it was secret meant he wasn't embarrassed by it. Louisa left his hand there for a little while longer to see if he would make the next move, but Martin was… Martin and didn't.

She laid her hand on top of his, stroking his fingers gently with her own, she easily slid his hand a little further up her thigh and felt his hand tense a little. Continuing her conversation, something Martin always thought she did effortlessly, Louisa moved Martin's hand a little further up her dress until his hand was so high up on her thigh if he had moved his hand anymore he would have touched her hip. Now was her chance, she kept his hand there for a moment while the woman who had been to the lavatory resumed her place at the table. She could feel Martin's arm was tense, but she had come this far and wasn't prepared to stop now. Moving slowly now, to increase the intense pleasure she was already feeling she moved his hand down onto her inner thigh towards its desired destination. In that moment everything was going so right, keeping up conversations above the table and creating explosions of pleasure beneath it.

Suddenly, the backdoor swung open behind Martin and Louisa, one of the men returned to his seat immediately taking a single mint imperial out of his pocket to try and stifle the smell of smoke coming from him. While the other rather loudly exclaimed from the door _'Looks like you have got a bit of a handful there Martin'_…


	2. Fury

Doc Martin is owned by buffalo pictures, I own nothing…

**Author's Note: **Please take this chapter with a pinch of salt as I have mentioned situations/scenario's that have happened across several seasons, yet this still has no grounding in a specific season of Doc Martin.

CHAPTER TWO: Fury

Martin's face was the brightest red that Louisa had ever seen, as his hand quickly left her and without looking around at anyone's glasses, remarked that everyone needed some more wine. As a doctor he never ever encouraged Louisa to drink but it seemed that she had embarrassed him so much he had forgotten his own morals and all his medical training. Martin speedily left the kitchen into the small larder next to the display cabinet to fetch the wine, but seemed to take a long time doing it. Louisa wanted to see what he was doing and to apologise for making him feel so uncomfortable. So she looked at her guests and excused herself, loudly the man who had come in with the smoker exclaimed. _'What did I offend him? Sorry mate'_, Louisa smiled weakly and went to find Martin.

After quizzing him to see if he had been offended by the comments made or by her actions, Martin looked down into her innocent brown eyes and knew he could never be annoyed by this beautiful woman; he kissed her for a moment never taking his eyes from her contented face. Louisa whispered about how he should be ready for later when they were alone, to which Martin awkwardly nodded and strode out into the kitchen without looking back to her, even though he wanted to. Martin never wanted to take his eyes off Louisa, but in the company of others he had to keep his focus and composure even though every inch of him just ached to be with her.

As Martin emerged from the pantry with some more wine he was confronted by the man sitting to his left on the table, _'Sorry, Martin I didn't mean to offend you when I said you seemed to have your hands full, just making a very reasonable observation'_, Martin blushed but didn't attempt to interrupt the man who continued _'I was only merely implying that from my view at the door it seemed that you had, well how can I put this. I could have done that equally as well, if not better'_.

With this Martin looked indignantly at the man who was now getting a little pink around the edges, Louisa rested her hand firmly on Martin's shoulder as he confronted the man, demanding an explanation and calling him a myriad of rude insults. The man, horrified at the names he had been called simply raised his hand and pointed at the ceiling. _'What charlatan fixed your plumbing and then plastered that damp patch did an awful job, I didn't notice until I came in through the back door, because you can't see it as the beam blocks the view of it on the way in from the front door. So I only said you seemly had your hands full because getting that fixed and trying to run surgery must have been a nightmare. I will do again for you and make sure it is done properly'_.

Martin's face was a complete picture of shock and relief as the man finished, _'that's what happens when Bert Large doesn't have Al to help him'_.

Louisa felt Martin's shoulder relax under her hand and once more wine was poured into all glasses including his own, he sat down. Only to discover after taking a sip and nearly spitting it back into the glass realising the mistake he made and quickly swapped back to water taking a large gulp from the correct glass this time. Louisa had explained that when Martin had first moved in he came home to find water gushing through the ceiling of his house and flooded the whole downstairs, Bert had been there and decided to help fix it. She added that Martin couldn't be blamed for his bad choice of handyman because he was new and didn't know Bert Large would do more damage than good. Martin also for once added to the conversation; _'Not satisfied with ruining the population of Portwenn's plumbing and water systems which has caused a dramatic increase in water borne illnesses, which seem to spread from house to house quicker than wildfire. He has now decided to open a restaurant business, so that just in case the bottled water didn't kill off half the village his horrendous hygiene regime and lack of sufficient knowledge about cooking most certainly will'_. But now Louisa remembered that it was better for everyone when Martin was being rude by ignoring them, not through insulting people. She sighed to herself- she wondered if she ever would be able to change the man with such thick skin and make him become a sensitive and outwardly caring man? Louisa suggested that they might visit Bert's restaurant for a nice dinner sometime soon, to which Martin strongly disagreed finishing that conversation in his usual rude way; '_You really should think before you open your mouth Louisa, going to Bert's would mean we would probably both get ill and then have to take time off work'_.

Louisa brushed off this comment, knowing Martin was only meaning well, but of course that never came across and just made it look like he was insulting her intelligence. They soon resumed their conversations while Martin took some time to admire Louisa some more. Only to realise that she was doing the exact thing to him, and as their eyes met they held the gaze for a split second before re-joining their respective conversations. Still stealing the occasional glance though.

Louisa was getting very caught up in the debate about the best parenting styles from evidence she had seen in her school, she thought she knew best. Of course having not yet been a mother herself, the argument naturally swung in the lady (a mother of 2) who was sat opposite's favour. Louisa swung a glance in Martin's direction to see if he would support her side of the argument. But as usual Louisa was not backed up by Martin who seemingly staring into space while grunting monosyllabic words to the moron at the end talking about damp in ceilings and the worst types of damp he had seen. Yet the woman who thought she knew better than Louisa was being backed up by her husband and the woman sitting to Louisa's right. At that point she wished Martin was going to speak up and support her argument, he must have seen studies about it. But thinking about it further she was perhaps glad that he didn't.

Realising everyone had finished their dinner; Martin absentmindedly began to clear away the dinner plates as quietly as he could, to get away from the man to his left talking about the best ways to plaster a ceiling, seemly to himself. Unnoticed to Martin, Louisa had been picking away at her dinner for some time and still had her fork in her hand. She looked like the most unlikely conductor with half a new potato on the end of the fork, conducting a chorus of arguing women at one end of his kitchen table. But as usual for Martin, he only realised the fact that Louisa hadn't finished with her dinner when he took it abruptly from between her elbows.

'_Martin weren't you going to check I was finished with my dinner before dispatching it into the dustbin. If you hadn't noticed half of it is still on the end of my fork'_, Louisa scolded him, her words dripping with distain like her potato, only that was dripping with butter onto the wicker placemats now that the plate had been removed. Grunting with realisation, Martin replaced Louisa's plate exactly as it was, but not before whispering in her ear _'Well, if you spend less time talking and more time eating you would have finished at the same time as the rest of us'_.

Louisa turned her head slowly to give him a stare that would have turned a man to stone, but Martin had already stood to his full height, turned on his heels and walked awkwardly over to the sink where he was taking his time organising the plates onto the pile of washing up to do. The shock on her face was only seen by the woman sitting opposite her, who patted her hand and continued to talk to the man on her right. Louisa thought to herself, how can he be so rude? I organised this whole evening for him and he has the audacity to be so rude in front of our friends. She shone a brief smile to her guests asking them to step down into the lounge while they prepared to serve the desert. Picking up her plate, Louisa strode towards Martin who by all accounts was not meeting her eye. He must have known what he said was completely out of line, Louisa was glad he was feeling guilty. She confronted him in the loudest tone she could muster without disturbing their 4 guests who were now making their way, still chattering loudly, into the lounge area only metres from the dinner table.

'_Why are you embarrassing me in front of our friends, Martin'_, Louisa quizzed him, Martin shrugged while muttering to himself how the people in his house were her friends rather than his. Louisa picking up on the fact he described the house as his rather than theirs, angered her even more, after hissing about how ungrateful he was under her breath, she scraped the remains of her dinner into the dustbin. She returned to the table only to collect her glass of white wine, leaving Martin reeling from her harsh words and in charge of preparing dessert alone…


	3. Compromise

DOC MARTIN IS OWNED BY BUFFALO PICTURES, I OWN NOTHING.

CHAPTER THREE: Compromise

Louisa was infuriated by Martin; the evening had started off so well. Was his rudeness punishment for making him feel so uncomfortable about touching her under the table? From where she was standing talking to one of their male guests, she could see Martin cutting up strawberries and slicing melon in her peripheral vision. She could also see him stealing glances at her every so often, but she was still too annoyed at him to care whether he was admiring her or not. I mean he should admire her, she thought after all she had rented out her house in order to move into the surgery with him. Louisa was annoyed that she had dressed up in a rather expensive dress and spent a perilous amount of time curling her hair then pinning it in such a way that it cascaded down her back in spirals. All the time spent and not one compliment from the stupid obnoxious giant of a man, she honestly didn't know why she bothered, he never complimented her. The closest he had got to compliment her dress, was when she was getting ready.

Louisa stepped out of the shower, knowing Martin was going to be finishing surgery any minute and coming to get ready for his birthday meal, she started to dry her hair with the towel. Once she heard _'See you in the morning Doc, have a good night but don't drink too much and end up spending the night with the dog instead of Louisa'_ and the door close. Louisa decided to see if she and Martin might be able to spend some time in the bedroom before the guests arrived…

Wrapping the towel round her, leaving her damp hair hanging down her back as it was starting to form waves from the water; she walked into the bedroom to wait for Martin. Since moving in 4 months ago, she had made Martin a lot more comfortable with being around her and built up his confidence in bed. They had made love several times, but tonight she was very much in the mood and almost wished she had agreed with Martin; when he said he wanted to spend the evening with her. Louisa regretted that she had argued with Martin for hours, saying that he hardly ever had people round and needed to become more sociable; so that they could go out in public together without him offending people with his abrasive manner. There were several hours before the guests were due to arrive, luckily Martin had agreed to only hold surgery on his birthday until 4pm to spend some time with Louisa, and their guests when they arrived later.

Quickly as Louisa could hear Martin starting to come up the stairs she put on some concealer under her eyes, a flick of mascara and a dab of blusher on her cheeks, she wanted to look nice for him. It was all part of her plan to seduce him before dinner, something which she was yet to manage. Despite always eating early with Martin and then spending the evening together, she had always wanted to make love with him at different times of the day. How she longed for the summer holidays where they could be in each other's company all day every day. Where they could get up at midday and go back to bed in the afternoon, enjoying the company they could share alone, with nothing to disturb them.

Martin, came through the door rubbing his forehead obviously trying to relieve some of the stress from his last patient, when he looked up to see Louisa perched on the edge of the bed twirling her hair around her elegant fingers. She looked up at him when she heard the familiar door squeak, and smiled staring longingly into his eyes. Martin felt a pang of desire for Louisa, she was so beautiful and that smile of hers seemed to melt his heart. She asked him if he was going to get changed and came to embrace him, still in her towel. Martin held Louisa to him, her head resting on his chest as she traced the outline of his collar with her fingers.

When they finally broke apart, Martin had a considerably wet patch, visible on his shoulder, from Louisa's hair but he didn't mind, smiling at her as she walked back over to the mirror to pick up the hairdryer. Martin walked round to his side of the bed; (he always slept with Louisa on his right) and sat heavily down. Martin looked stressed Louisa thought; either it was the patients from surgery or the looming prospect of having a formal dinner with people he would have to talk to for hours. She decided to see if she could relieve his stress, she crawled across her side of the bed until she was sat on her heels behind him. Taking hold of both his hands which currently were being run through his hair- making it stand slightly on end as he had left it to grow a little at Louisa's request. She hugged him from behind, her chin against his head. She whispered sweet nothings into his ears and kissing his neck; she could tell he was trying to listen to her over the soft sound of the radio that was playing from the alarm clock across the room. Slipping off the bed, Louisa stood in front of Martin and helped him take off his jacket, as he looked as though he was too tired to function. To begin with Martin was just surprised that Louisa was stood in a rather short towel before him helping to undress him.

She undid his top button and slowly untied his tie, careful to bend down just enough for him to get a glimpse of cleavage before pulling him towards her holding both ends of the tie still around his neck. Kissing him gently on the lips, Louisa went to pull away to continuing teasing him with her body which she knew he couldn't resist staring at and touching. When she felt his hands on her waist. Martin pulled Louisa back into a kiss and as it deepened he felt her straddling his legs in order to sit on his lap. Moving one had up into her hair, the kiss deepened further. Louisa's plan was working and she had hardly needed lift a finger, she was running her hands up and down Martin's chest gradually undoing all his buttons until she could pull his shirt off without any problem at all.

Louisa could hear Martin whisper _'I love you'_ into her ear as he returned the earlier favour of kissing down her neck, making her skin come up with Goosebumps of pleasure. He still had one hand in her hair caressing the back of her delicate neck with his fingers the wet strands of hair woven softly around his fingers. Louisa decided that as lovely as this was, she was pretty sure Martin was ready to take it a little further, after whispering to him that she loved him too. Louisa lent back slightly, allowing the towel to fall from where it was covering her body, to around her waist as she was still sitting on Martin's lap. Martin didn't know where to look; he loved the elegant curves of her body she continued his trail of kisses down her body and back up to her lips to the gasps of pleasure coming from Louisa.

Martin keeping one arm wrapped firmly round Louisa's waist, and making sure she was holding on to him firmly, only when her hands round were round his neck did he make any attempt to move. He stood still kissing Louisa passionately, and aimed to take off his trousers so he could get even more intimate with her. Martin longed for Louisa so much throughout his day and now with this new found chance he was not going to mess it up with her. He stopped stroking her neck and playing with her hair with his left hand, the one he needed to use to take off his trousers with, but as he went to removed his hand he realised it was stuck in her hair…

Martin pulled his hand gently, but he couldn't get it free- Louisa's hair was well and truly knotted around his fingers. Martin, now trying to think on his feet and trying not to kill the romance as he did so often, thought that perhaps wiggling his fingers might help the hair come loose. He was most definitely wrong about that, Louisa squealed as the hairs at the back of her head pulled tight and individually pulled at her scalp.

'_Martin, what are you doing that really hurts?'_ moaned Louisa as the tugging in the back of her hair was starting to become sore.

'_Um, my hand seems to be stuck… in your hair. I was just playing with it and it seems to have become entwined around my fingers, it must be the damp that is making it stick… How do you propose we continue with erm…'_ said Martin cleaning his throat, the embarrassment starting to creep in.

'_Oh so now it is my fault for having wet hair is it Martin, surely you can't blame me for everything…'_ retaliated Louisa without thinking. But the tell-tale reddening of his cheeks told her that if this wasn't sorted soon there would be no more fun tonight. Telling him not to worry, she reached one of her hands from Martin's shoulder into her hair to see if she could free his hands. After a few minutes of fumbling Louisa thought she almost had his hand freed and took her other hand from his shoulder, unhooked the last piece of hair and asked him to gently pull his hand free. Martin tugged, Louisa screamed and it was evident that his hand was most definitely just as stuck as before. Louisa sighed thinking about the almost passionate experience they could have just shared, and then the killing of the romance that did always seem to happen with Martin. Sometimes even when he was trying to be romantic like today, things still just kept going wrong.

Martin, still attempting to free his left hand from the mess that was Louisa's hair shifted his weight slightly as he had been holding her up with one arm for the best part of 10 minutes now. Although she was by no means heavy, his arm was starting to ache, so he was eager to free his hand to be able to hold her more successfully- more concerned with her welfare than the romance anymore. Although he wasn't at all complaining about the opportunity to hold a half-naked Louisa in his arms, even if the circumstance was less than romantic!

Martin decided that to tug his hand was the only rational way to get it free, reasoning that it was only hair and that although it may be painful momentarily it would be the best for all involved. Moving his free hand, that was holding her up he began to turn so if he did need to put her down he could do so on the bed. As he slowly began to turn he moved the supporting hand to her hip so as to use her body as leverage for his hand. Yanking his hand from Louisa's hair he realised several things; that he was no longer supporting Louisa with either hand and that she was wincing in pain at the hand still pulling at her hair. More importantly he realised that he had not turned fully round to the bed but it was too late for him to do anything about it; as there was now a heap of a towel and clothes on the floor surrounding Louisa who was now _also_ on the floor. Leaving Martin with a very disgruntled Louisa but more worryingly a handful of her beautiful brown hair.

Louisa was not impressed, she had tried to build up a romantic situation and now she was lying naked on the bedroom floor looking up at a shirtless Martin who had a hand full of her hair and was gaping at the situation as if it had unfolded in slow motion before his eyes.

'_I take it from the goldfish type look on your face that you aren't going to help me get up, and leave me humiliated lying just here while you gape at my naked body then, thanks a lot Martin'_, Louisa snapped, while picking herself up knowing full well that he would not help her. Martin, who had indeed been admiring her, but also not sure what to do with the hair in his hand. He turned and placed it in the bin only to turn round to Louisa doing up her bra having put on her underwear very quickly and heading over to brush her long hair ready to dry it.

For a long while, not one word was exchanged between them. Louisa was waiting for the apology she so rightfully deserved for being dropped having lots of her hair ripped out while Martin was trying to judge how angry she was with him, in order for him to appropriate his apology accordingly. After getting Louisa's attention by calling her name and subsequently trying and failing several sentences in an attempt of apologising, Martin grunted picking up a clean towel and headed for a shower. Martin was so angry that he couldn't find the words to apologise, and as he closed the door in the bathroom, he was surrounded by Louisa's smell; she had used the shower gel that Auntie Joan had brought for him to give her, at Christmas several months ago. It was such a lovely present and came in a set with plenty more, something he would have never picked up for Louisa but when he went shopping with Auntie Joan, she had helped him to choose something that Louisa would actually as well as a pair of beautiful moonstone earrings. It was safe to say that Louisa had absolutely loved her new presents; they were a definite change from the stationary and anti-aging face cream that she had received the year before.

So for a while Martin, just sat in the bathroom with his eyes closed thinking about Louisa, surrounded by her sweet smell. Louisa who was still mourning the loss of the clump of her hair, hoping that it wouldn't show too much when she put her hair up for work had now dried her hair. Louisa was sitting, just looking at her face in the mirror- picking out all the things that she disliked as she put her makeup on for the evening. She wondered what Martin even saw in her, and thought that he probably ruined the romance because he couldn't bear to look at her face and her lank boring hair. So she silently made a promise to herself and was determined to make a start on it tomorrow. But for tonight she had to make the most of what she had, turned on the curling iron and found the moonstone earrings that Martin brought her from her jewellery case….

Martin appeared from the shower, his hair already dry and combed, however he realised half his clothes were in the bedroom with Louisa so came in wearing just his boxers. Louisa was actually very surprised about this, she knew how sensitive Martin was about showing his body but then perhaps he was comfortable with her seeing him like that. She just didn't know, so put the finishing touches to her hair which she had curled in the surprisingly long time Martin had taken to shower and ignored that fact he had come in.

Admiring Louisa from behind, being careful not to catch her eye in the mirror Martin sidled over to the wardrobe and took out a dark grey suit and put on his new blue shirt that Louisa had insisted he open in the morning in an attempt to get him to wear it for morning surgery. But he had convinced her it would only get covered in sick or blood and wanted to save it for the evening. Louisa coming up next to Martin, reached into the wardrobe for her new blue dress. She wondered if he would realise that she had colour co-ordinated them for the evening, both in royal blue, but she doubted it. Stepping into the dress to avoid ruining her hair, she pulled the dress up to the right place and began to zip the back of the dress up. As it was nearing the top she was beginning to struggle, and as she opened her mouth to ask Martin to help, he offered. Moving her hair over her shoulder to stop it being caught in the zip he zipped his beautiful Louisa into a dress that flattered her in so many ways. He helped her fasten the shoulder drape at the back of the dress, while trying to think of a way to compliment her.

'_This is a nice material Louisa, but I hope you washed the dress before you put it on or it might make you itch from all the other cretins which might have tried this on before you brought it'_, is all he could muster before moving back to the drawers next to the wardrobe to choose a tie to wear with his suit.

Sighing at the recollection, the only compliment she could take from that was that Martin liked the material of her dress, no compliment about what she looked like in the dress. Realising while she had been remembered the evenings events, all her guests has started making their way back to the table for dessert. Sighing again, Louisa made her way back to the table in an attempt to make the most out of another disastrous day with Martin…


	4. Confession

DOC MARTIN IN OWNED BY BUFFALO PICTURES, I OWN NOTHING

Authors Note: I thought I would publish this a day early as an apology for posting the last one so late! Please Review :D

**CHAPTER FOUR: Confession**

The rest of the evening did not go without hiccups; throughout dinner conversation was somewhat subdued due to the amount of tension between the hosts. No longer where they sat next to each other as before, but diagonally opposite so as not to be directly in each other's eye lines. Once dessert was finished with Martin was adamant that he would not take part in the game of charades and would wash up instead. Louisa who had a few glasses of wine by this time was convinced she could persuade Martin to take part, so she got the guests started on the game and then sidled over to Martin.

'_I think you need to make it up to me Martin',_ smiled Louisa although she was deadly serious, the lack of compliments and vast amounts of insults had happened over the course of the evening Martin meant in her eyes that he needed to redeem himself. Martin, unsure if Louisa was joking or not just continued to wash up making the excuse that he was no good at games and that needed to get the dishes done. Louisa decided to push it; she thought she had more persuasive skills than she did. After a few more minutes of unpersuasive persuasion Martin snapped _'For goodness sake Louisa, your powers of persuasion are less than adequate and especially after you consumed alcohol, with which you really do become wholly unattractive. I hate it when you drink, you really will age prematurely if you don't give it up. So go and enjoy the evening before they realise that you are trying to bully me into something I do not want to do'._

Shocked and appalled at the disregard for her feelings and insults to her drinking habits, Louisa stormed down the steps into the lounge. On her arrival she plastered a smile onto her face, telling her guests that her 'darling' Martin would join them as soon as he had finished cleaning up. As Martin continued to wash up, the dinner guests thinking he wanted to be involved; kept throwing questions of what the film could be. After a lot of _'how would I bloody know', 'well this is just stupid' _and _'stop asking inane questions'_, the game shortly finished.

Louisa ushered out their merry dinner guests with Martin stood several feet behind her; grunting as they wished him a happy birthday, the men shaking his hand and the women attempting to reach the great height of his cheek to give him a kiss. Once everyone had stepped over the threshold to greet the outside world, Louisa smiled waved and quietly closed the door.

Leaning her head lightly against the wood, she could finally drop the smile she had plastered to her face for the evening in order to pretend that everything was fine and that everyone should be enjoying Martin's big day as much as she was. Wrapping one arm around her waist and holding up the hair from the back of her head, tears began to roll silently down her cheeks, dropping off her chin onto her new dress.

Louisa couldn't believe that what could have been a pleasant few hours in the company of friends celebrating with the man she loved had gone so horribly wrong. Why did everything go wrong when she and Martin were together? Perhaps they were just not meant to be together. She hated the idea of that though; Louisa couldn't imagine her life without her bumbling, socially awkward, shy, gruff, monosyllabic, well-meaning but rude Martin Ellingham. The thing was, she found herself wanting to change things about him, and maybe this meant that she couldn't love him for the way he was. Realising what this meant Louisa, turned from the front door with tears still streaming down her face, only to realise Martin had been stood behind her the whole time.

Martin didn't know much about women or what went on in Louisa's head. But he did know that he hated it when she was upset, and most of the times that she was upset- he was the cause. Taking her hand in his, all he could do was stare at the floor. Breathing deeply he built up his confidence to look Louisa in the eye, yet when he was fully and completely ready to look her in the eye to tell her how much he cared for her, she couldn't meet his eye. Louisa knew it took Martin a long time to break the hard outer shell of his personality to unlock his emotions stuck inside. But she couldn't help thinking it was too little too late. She wanted him to tell her all the time how nice she looked, how much he loved her, how much she meant to him and how he wouldn't be able to cope without her. But nothing, nothing… he would say nothing to her. Every so often she would see past his solid exterior through his eyes, straight into his soul and she could see the vast amount he loved her. But this time she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye, in case she saw that this had all been a huge mistake. A whole fairy tale she had made up in her head. That look of love in his eyes was her imagination and that he was just looking because he was trying to work her out.

Martin knew that he had to act now and he had to do something fast, hoping that a kiss might be a suitable attempt at showing her his love. Still holding her hand, he whispered her name but she wouldn't look at him. Perhaps she didn't want to let him see her cry, was she being a silly female trying to be more masculine and not show weakness. Martin used his free hand to put a finger under Louisa's chin to make her look at him. Once she had raised her tear stained face towards his, he went in for the kiss that he hoped would solve all their problems. Just as Martin's lips reached Louisa's lips she did not kiss him back only whispered _'it's no good trying to be romantic now Martin'. _

Martin blinked, questioning Louisa not with his words but with the look in his eyes. Louisa now firmly looking at him in the eyes, knowing he would not be able to sway her and continued speaking.

'_Martin, I know you mean well with the things you do for me. But often I find the things you say very insulting, you don't seem to show how you feel until it is too late. I mean you have even proved it tonight, only when I show extreme emotion do you show a miniscule amount. I can never seem to work out what you are thinking and I wish I understood your mind and the way it worked as I am sure I would not get half as offended if I do. But you always say the wrong thing and you never compliment me or anything I do. I appreciate that you find it difficult to show your emotions and had a difficult childhood and had a lack of love in your life. But I need to be shown once in a while, that you care and make an attempt to show that you love me. I love you with all my heart Martin, but I feel so unappreciated and unloved sometimes that I want to scream at you to make you see. Sometimes the remarks you make about me; like the ones this evening really upset me because it seems that you say anything that comes into your head. Often I have to stop and wonder if you have ever loved me. Then you seem to say something that makes me stay. I even moved in here and attempted to make a life with you, but now I really don't know if that was the right decision. I think I have made a huge mistake putting my trust in you…'_

Louisa couldn't continue, she was crying too much to speak. She didn't even think she could face Martin, but she forced herself to look back into his eyes, look back at the face that she used to love unconditionally.

Martin's face couldn't have been more different to the emotions he was feeling inside. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and prove that he loved her more and more every day since the day where they met on the plane flying into Portwenn all those years ago. She was more beautiful than ever tonight and he really appreciated the effort she always made, making him feel like he deserved her love, making him feel that life was worth living together. He wanted to tell her that everything she does is appreciated and the moments they spend together are golden and will stay with him forever, because she is the most special woman that he has ever met and has never and will never love anyone as much as he loves her.

But his exterior was concrete, an unemotional barrier, a non-interpretable expression. Uncoupling her hand from his and taking his hand from her waist, a touch which would a few hours ago melted her heart and set her soul on fire now left her cold and full of regret. Louisa turned, not even attempting to wipe her eyes and set off upstairs.

When Martin heard her come down the stairs, Louisa had her coat on and a suitcase in her hand. She walked into the lounge area where he was sitting; Martin was still unable to communicate his emotions though he desperately wished he could. Touching him on the shoulder, she said in a voice that sounded like her heart was breaking with every word;_ 'Martin, I love you, but I cannot do this anymore. I need to feel appreciated, I need to feel loved. Please don't follow me or contact me for a while, I need some time alone. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I just can't…I can't…goodbye Martin'_.

The last time Martin saw Louisa was the flick of her long dark hair swishing in the wind as she took one last look at him from where she stood in front of the open door. Louisa then closed the door and was engulfed by the darkness of the bitterly cold night…


	5. Decisions

AUTHORS NOTE: I sincerely apologise about the huge gap I have left in between the uploading of chapters! I hope to upload a few more chapters in quick succession. Please review! X

**CHAPTER 5: Decisions**

Martin was not usually one to disobey Louisa, but this time he couldn't help feeling that she did want him to go after her and make everything right. But however hard he tried he couldn't think of the right thing to say or how to go about saying it to her. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. About how he catches his breath every time he sees her and goes out of his way every day just to try and catch sight of her or for her to flash a smile in his direction.

Martin had lost the love of his life so many times and he was not prepared to lose her again! Collecting his coat, phone and house keys he turned off the lights and headed out into the dark after Louisa. From his advantage point on top of the hill, he scanned the surrounding area for signs of life; he could hear people in Bert's restaurant laughing and joking and somehow hated them for their merriment in a time of such heartache for him. But he could see little sign of people moving around in the streets, as he went to close the door that ruddy dog decided it would be fun to run inside the house. Martin scared that the flea ridden mutt would end up in his consulting room stumbled after it in the dark, in a rash attempt to get the dog back out again.

He spent about 10 minutes trying to catch the infernal creature, and just as he got it cornered and was about to grab it the front door opened with a bang. Jumping up from his crouched position and spinning round on his heels to face his visitor allowed the dog to make his escape. Seeing it was Penhale, Martin scoffed and turned around to see the dog had gone. Cursing loudly, he went over to see what the idiotic policeman wanted;

'_Hi Doc, I was erm…. Wondering whether you….what I mean to say…did you want…' _

'_Just spit it out Penhale, I am very busy'_ Martin snapped cutting off Joe's train of thought,

Unoffended by Martin's remark, Penhale continued to bumble around the point until Martin grabbed him by the shoulders and shouted _'Either you tell me what you came here to say or GET OUT'. _

'_Yes of course, sorry Doc. I know you will probably say no to this but, would you like to come to the pub for a drink with me?'_ Penhale blurted out, then stood looking shifty without meeting Martin's eye.

'_NO Penhale, now get out!'_ Martin said as he moved towards the door to indicate Penhale needed to leave. But just Joe got out of the door and Martin had slammed it behind him, Martin reconsidered. Quickly opening the door, Martin shouted after the policeman '_Penhale… come back here!'_

So excited that the Doc might have changed his mind, Penhale sprinted back up the steps to the front door, with an eager look in his eye. But the reply to his _'Yes Doc, what is it?'_ was not quite as he expected; _'Take this bloody mongrel with you and I don't care what you do with it, just as long as it doesn't come into my surgery again, it is so unhygienic. Goodnight'_ and ended with a door in the face once more.

Leaving it a few more minutes to ensure that he would not have to speak to Penhale as he left the house, once again he exited his house but this time closing the door very quickly behind him to prevent any more time wasters, both canine and human varieties. For extra caution, he left via the backdoor, and then felt a great pang of regret as he remembered it was the door that Louisa always used to use when she visited.

With this thought Martin was even more determined to win her back, he went marching down to the hill. He passed some people leaving Bert's, but merely grunted and strode on. After briefly looking into the window of the Chemist and seeing Mrs Tishell stock taking, he swiftly turned and continued towards White Rose Cottage. As he wandered past the harbour, he looked out and was taken aback by its beauty; he had never really looked at it during the evening but he could see why Louisa was in love with this quaint little part of the world. Apart from one person the beach was completely empty, smiling to himself finally feeling as though he had something he could talk to Louisa about.

Martin's pace quickened, his legs making quick work of the steep hill and he promptly arrived outside Louisa's front door. Catching his breath, he knocked softly on the door and waited for an answer. Looking in, he could see no lights on yet this did not surprise him. Whenever they had had fights in the past Louisa usually went straight to bed. Martin remembered an awful night where he had heard her crying next to him and knowing it was entirely his fault- but not having any idea how to console her. Every time he touched her, she would push him away and cry harder. The thought of her crying made it even more difficult for him to stand outside waiting for her.

Still no answer at the door.

Martin knew he wouldn't give up so easily. Retrieving his mobile, he quickly typed her number which he had memorised since the first time they had exchanged them and waited for the connection. She didn't pick up though, it just kept ringing until he heard Louisa's familiar voice on the answerphone 'Hiya, it's Louisa but I can't get to the phone right now! Please leave me a message and I promise I will get back to you. Thank you'. Pausing Martin considered leaving a message, as the tone came he decided it would be a good idea to do so. 'Erm, not sure if this is recording Louisa, but it's me. It's Martin. I'm sorry about this evening; I acted like a complete arse. There are so many things that I need to tell you but they can all wait. The most important one is that I er….Love you.' Feeling very embarrassed he ended the call and considered what to do next.

Standing there in the cold, he remembered all the wonderful times they had shared outside her front door after they had been out somewhere together. But more importantly he remembered the night Louisa gave him a key to her front door and he had given her one to the surgery. Putting his hand in his pocket and retrieving his keys he saw that key and all the memories that came flooding back with it. Determined that he would make it up to Louisa like he had failed to do so many times, he slipped the key into the lock and quietly opened the door to her house.

For once he was glad that he knew her house so well and that he could navigate it in the dark. This skill was definitely put to the test now as he slowly made his way across the mine field that was her hall way towards the stairs. Her bedroom was on the right as you went up the stairs and unusually the door was left ajar. Louisa always slept with the door closed; Martin knew better than most that any light at all would have her tossing and turning all night. Poking his head around the door, he saw her lying in bed. All his focus was on her, sleeping peacefully as if nothing had passed between them. Martin considered leaving her to sleep and coming back in the morning. But he needed to prove his love and clear his conscience. He decided it was now or never.

Walking confidently over to the bed he perched by her side. Martin hadn't taken his eyes off her, and his eyes were starting to become accustomed to the dark although everything was still slightly hazy and fuzzy around the edges he began to speak softly, stroking her hair, telling her all the things he had learnt about her and Portwenn. Martin poured out his heart and soul as best he could, and as she stirred, he told her that he loved her, always had and always would. Hoping this would have the desired effect, he went in for a kiss…


	6. Contemplation

AUTHORS NOTE: I actually wrote this chapter before the previous installment, hence you will see some repetition in the language which is intentional. Its another upload in quick succession to apologise for the slovenly pace I have been working at until now! :)

CHAPTER 6: Contemplation

Louisa trudged home, utterly miserable and defeated making no attempt to hide the fact she was crying. She didn't even wipe the tears from her cheeks as they continued to cascade like a torrent of fast flowing water from her eyes. Her scarf was sodden with salty tears, the weight of it felt so heavy around her neck the whole world bearing down on her shoulders. Louisa walked past Bert's Restaurant which was still lively with people; she didn't look in but heard the sounds of laughter echoing from the tables set into the cliff side. Whispers of conversations reaching her ears, she was suddenly angry with them for enjoying the evening. Louisa was so desperately jealous of those people, happy and fulfilled in life. How she longed to be fulfilled, by Martin and live successfully with him. Quickly banishing his face from her mind as a great pang of sadness ricocheted through her bones.

Continuing down the hill, Louisa looked into the harbour. As she stood on the Platt she watched mesmerised by the black waves that were lapping slowly onto the wet sand. She looked to the dormant boats gently moving with the tide, everything seemed so tranquil. She felt the anger leaving her body, drained away by the beauty of Portwenn, her home. The sounds of the seagulls had long since passed and the sounds from the pub and restaurant faded into silence. Louisa felt welcomed by the sea, as if it was enticing her in the peace and relaxing motion of the waves to rock her to sleep. She could feel her face being lit from the moon bouncing off the small ripples of the water as they coursed over the pebbles on the beach.

How she longed to touch that water, to let it run over her feet or to cover her body. How she wished the water would submerge her and evict all her problems, but she knew better than to let it do so. Instead she sat down, drawing patterns in the dry sand, letting it fall through her fingers as she stared up at the starry night. Letting her problems fall through with the sand, into a pile that would be discarded by the sea as it rose to meet her.

She remembered back to the time her father had sat out in the dark with her to look at the stars, she knew he was drunk and that the evening had ended with him vomiting down her favourite dress as he staggered home holding her precious hand and then passed out on the kitchen floor. Louisa vividly remembered crying herself to sleep, with no mother to console her or help clean the dress. No one to tuck her up in bed and kiss her forehead, she put herself to bed that night as she did most nights and dreamt of the perfect family she only could have in her imagination. Aside from the disastrous end to the night, Louisa recalled sitting with her dad looking up at the stars, trying to count them. Making names up for consolations that looked like objects, she painfully remembered the star her father named after her. "_The star which shone the brightest was always my Louisa",_ Terry Glasson would slur as he took another sip of whisky straight from the bottle pointing to a star which always appeared above the spire on the top of the school. Ironic that of all the things her father got wrong, he had predicted her place of work by naming the star which hung above it.

Louisa lay back, not even caring that she was getting sand in her hair. She wondered if she had stayed there forever if anyone would realise where she was, if she could just stare at the stars forever, wishing upon each one. Would any of them come true? Louisa felt all her problems being emitted into the sand, being sucked out her body by nature.

Taking off her heels from the dinner party and placing them with her suitcase further up the beach on a large rock, Louisa went down to the water edge which was still glimmering in the moon light. By the time she got there many of the people in Bert's restaurant had left and he had turned the lights off, going to clear up the kitchen as he did every evening after close. She was in the dark with only the stars for company. As she neared the water's edge she lifted her dress from around her knees revealing her thighs and took a step into the foamy ripples. The water was desperately cold on her toes, but soon they went numb, Louisa found herself taking another step into the water which was now swirling about her ankles. The night was cold but she didn't feel it, the Goosebumps were welcome to her skin, her bare arms covered in them as she had left her coat with her shoes and suitcase on the beach. The cold meant that she could feel, that she was human and not a complete robot that someone could love.

Louisa pushed on, urging her body further into the sea, she didn't want to get wet but just wanted to see what would happen if she kept walking for a while. Luckily the beach in Portwenn was very flat for a time then got much deeper as it neared the harbour wall. So she got about half way to the harbour wall before it got any deeper than her knees, but no longer did she have any feeling in her legs and she had dropped her dress so about an inch of it was wet at the bottom. Louisa felt like she was floating, lighter than air without a care in the world. Why hadn't she thought of doing this before, it was so relaxing?

The feeling of the water, creeping up her dress and pulling her in further was exciting for Louisa, she felt like this was a whole new adventure which she had never experienced before. The water now up to her waist meant that anything below the waterline was numb from the cold of the water made it difficult to wade any further. Louisa could feel her teeth chattering and her arms shaking in an involuntary manner but there was nothing she could do to prevent it. The water was weighing her down; the colours of the blue sky seemed to merge into the black of the water making a continuous line that she could walk into forever.

The water was getting a lot deeper now, Louisa could feel herself starting to be relieved of all worries as her hair began to drag in the water as she walked. Yet instead of walking towards the harbour wall, she turned and looked to where Martin's house was and began walking towards it as if he was standing there watching her, arms stretched open, murmuring his name in her familiar way…


	7. Realisation

Authors Note: I'm sure me uploading a chapter, after so long will be a complete surprise for you all, I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded in SO long! Sorry it isn't a very long chapter… Please R&R! Xx

**CHAPTER 7: Realisation**

Martin brushed the hairs out of her eyes, smiling to himself that he'd managed something so romantic and waited for her to speak after he uttered her name in a soft voice, so as to wake her gently. She quickly rolled over, away from Martin and he could see her fumbling for the switch on the bedside table lamp. He took this second to straighten his tie and make sure his breath wasn't too awful.

_"What the…?"_ he heard an utterance, and braced himself for her to shout at him for waking her up or ruining her evening or something.

_"Louisa, I'm sorry, I behaved…well I didn't really behave did I! What can I do…?"_ Martin started to talk, thinking of a suitable apology and not quite finding one before he was cut off;

_"Louisa?",_ the voice said as the light switched on and the true identity of the person was revealed to a completely horrified Martin Ellingham who stood up with such gusto he hit his head on the sloped ceiling in Louisa's bedroom. Or more accurately what _used_ to be her bedroom.

_"P….P….P….Pauline?" _Martin stuttered in complete and utter shock, he kept closing his eyes and shaking his head, hoping it was a dream and he was about to wake up with Louisa by his side.

_ "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?"_ his receptionist asked, grabbing the covers off the bed to cover her quite-revealing-pyjama-body from her employer.

_"I, um have a key, Louisa…Louisa gave…um"_ Martin looked away from Pauline trying to make sense of this in his head, but he could no longer form sentences.

_"YOU KISSED ME! WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, WHAT'S GOING ON?" _Pauline continued to shout, probably waking up the next door neighbours, as she edged into the corner of the bedroom and also hitting her head on the sloped ceiling, something Louisa never did as she always remembered to duck.

_"I didn't, I though you were…"_ Martin stopped himself, then realised all the things he had told Pauline thinking it she was Louisa, the woman he loved. _"How much did you hear of what I said Pauline, um before I…" _Martin quizzed her in apprehension.

_"I just remember hearing, 'I love you, I always have and I always will, nothing will ever change that' and then you kissing me…only I thought it was Al! He does stupid soppy things like that because Bert told him he wasn't romantic enough"_ Pauline gabbled also trying to piece together what has happening and why she was standing with Martin in her pyjamas in the early hours of the morning. "_Wait, so you thought I was Louisa?"_ she asked Martin.

_"Yes, well she used to live here, before she lived with me…"_ Martin, started to realise that Louisa having moved in with him, had no need for her house and had started to rent it to someone else for some extra money. _"But she's now renting it to you and Al?"_ he questioned Pauline bluntly. As Pauline nodded in response and grabbed a dressing gown and pair of slippers, Martin began to pace, his brain working overtime.

_"Do you want a cup of tea then Doc, seeing as you are here and have woken me up"_ Pauline asked moving towards the door, still keeping a fair distance from Martin.

_"Don't be ridiculous!"_ he snapped at her and she stopped in her tracks and walked back over and got into bed muttering that she was only being courteous and that he should just get out then.

Moving slowly down the pitch black staircase after a grunting apology to Pauline, Martin felt completely mortified that he'd kissed another woman and poured his heart and soul out to her, something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to do again. Martin began to consider where Louisa actually was, if she didn't have her own home to go to. Who would she trust to let her stay the night; it was a hard list to make. She had so many friends in Port Wenn and there wasn't a person in the village who didn't like her. She would always win them over, as she did him, with a smile, a laugh or a friendly comment or gesture.

Martin walked swiftly home to find the phone numbers in his patient records of Bert Large, Roger Fenn, Peter Cronk's mother and that idiotic woman who worked as the school receptionist. Then it clicked, she must have gone to Joan's house, pulling out his mobile Martin stopped by the harbour and pressed dial on his aunt's number. As it rang he looked out to the beach, which was still calm and the boats bobbing around without a care in the world. It was dark so he could only pick out the silhouettes of the boats, but he recalled seeing a figure on the beach earlier. But he could no longer see them, perhaps they'd seen sense and gone home, no doubt he'd see them in surgery tomorrow with some sort of idiotic self induced injury. Before he could think anymore on it, the phone at the end of the line was answered.

_"Hello?"_ the gruff, half awake voice of his aunt uttered,

_"Aunty Joan, um sorry it's late" _Martin spoke to his aunt, not sure what to say or how to ask about how Louisa was.

_"Oh Marty, what on earth are you ringing about at this time of night?"_ Joan questioned her nephew in complete confusion still under the haze that was present during the first stages of waking up.

"_How is she?"_ he asked simply after running another 20 possibilities of what to say through his head,

_"How is who? You're not making any sense Marty"_ Joan puzzled, hoping he wasn't delirious or having a nightmare about being young and ringing her in secret as he used to when he was at boarding school or the rare occasions he was home and begging to come to her house.

_"Louisa!"_ Martin snapped impatiently, pacing again as he always did when anxious, but abruptly stopped when he remembered Louisa telling him off because she said 'it makes me nervous Martin'.

_"The last time I spoke to her, she seemed fine, but that was a few days ago" _Aunty Joan explained, hoping for the call to end soon, she wanted to get some more sleep before getting up at 6.00am to feed the chickens and livestock.

_"The last time, but she won't have long arrived at your house?"_ Martin spoke now very slowly, so Joan didn't misunderstand.

_"But I haven't seen her for days Marty, I'm sorry, why what's…"_ Joan spoke but Martin had already ended the call and begun to run up to his house, ready to call the others on the list. None more urgently than Penhale, after checking she hadn't come back home first…


	8. Time

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry this is just a short one, to keep you ticking over! Sorry for the delay, I'm a busy lady, but I will try not to leave you hanging for too much longer! Olive Louisa xx

**Chapter 8: Time **

Aunty Joan took the phone away from her ear as the buzzing noise of the connection tone sounded loudly. She was utterly bemused as to why Martin had rung her at such a ridiculous time; she'd been in bed for hours and had little perception of what just happened. All she knew was something had gone wrong between Martin and Louisa, well when had it gone right with Louisa, she thought to herself with a sad sigh. The best thing to do was ring Louisa; find out what was happening and why Martin thought she would be at her farm at this time in the morning. She knew Martin would be fine, he always was, but it was Louisa she was worried about, she always did something rash when she was upset. Joan didn't want anything to happen to the only person she thought of as a daughter, Joan knew she had to phone Louisa. Flicking slowly through the little red phonebook which sat next to the phone she eventually got to G, and dialled Louisa's number. She usually knew it off by heart, but her brain wasn't fully functioning at this point. Once more she held the receiver to her ear and waited for an answer…

Had Louisa been closer to the shore, than the harbour she might have heard her phone ringing, with a desperate Joan waiting to hear her voice. But Louisa didn't hear anything; she was alone with only the ringing in her ears for company. She knew she was in the water but was so immune from any emotion of sense of feeling she couldn't get out again. The water was holding her down, dragging her in further, embracing her and not judging her. The water lifted its cascading arms and embraced her with love care and attention; it was cleansing her of all the embarrassment and frustration she felt towards Martin. Yet she couldn't help thinking _he_ was all she wanted, all she has ever wanted and all she will ever want. Just for him to take her in his arms and never let go. But that was never going to happen; this wasn't a dream world where nice things happen. It's real life where you have to work for everything you have, but you're never quite satisfied because there is always something missing. Something you can never quite put your finger on, the answer is always on the tip of your tongue but you can't ever express. But it's always right there; you feel it weighing down your heart until it ought to have seeped out through the soles of your feet, and drained away along with the hope of ever discovering that missing part of you…

Martin was rooted to the spot, with the embarrassment of pouring his heart and soul out to Pauline, and then waking Auntie Joan to find Louisa wasn't even with her. Could he do anything right? Probably not, his mother would certainly agree with that, and his father would never be around to agree or disagree. Where could Louisa be? Something was dragging him towards the beach, he just wanted to walk to the water edge and look out over the sea of calm, perhaps the water held the answer… he considered it a moment, then realised he was being idiotic, and proceeded home to ring Roger Fenn and the others to whom Louisa might have sought shelter and help from. Martin was so irritated with himself, in a way he could only be with patients with self-induced ridiculous illness which could be avoided if Port Wenn just observed the simplest of hygiene routines. How could I have been so stupid he asked himself, clenching his fist!

"I have to find her, I just have to…" he muttered to himself, powering up the hill towards the surgery with only one thought on his mind, that thought as usual was Louisa…


	9. Preparation

Chapter Nine: Preparation.

Authors note: Sorry I have taken so long between uploads, I have been working so much! Apologies if the format is slightly odd on this, I'm on holiday at the moment and so I'm scrawling new chapters on scraps of paper and uploading them from the notes app on my phone! OL xx

Louisa felt so calm the sound of the waves soothing all her worries, the gentle breeze creating white ripples around her. She reached her hands out to them watching the bubbles dancing on her fingertips under the light of the crescent moon. Running her thumb across her fingertips she could feel the creases the moisture was starting to force them into. She had no idea how long she had been in the water for, but with the moon in relatively the same place she knew it couldn't have been THAT long. "Anyway" she whispered to herself "water is good for you, Martin always drinks it". With the mention of his name she found her eyes awash with warm tears which ran down her cold cheeks. Louisa missed Martin so much already and it had only been a few hours! She decided to lie back in the water to try and look towards his house, the tears were still free falling down her face and dripping into the sea. It felt like the whole sea was just her tears for Martin, she thought that the sea had stripped her of all that emotion and bad energy. It was difficult to stay afloat with the deep gut wrenching sobs which were forcing their way out of her lungs without Louisa even needing to try. She was so sure that she was over tears for Martin and his frustrating ways, clearly not. Louisa felt guilty for storming out of his house... Their house! Storming out without giving him the chance to explain or apologise. Louisa looked back to Martin's house her hair fanning out framing her face like a strange crying mermaid. One longed to be on land with her Prince Charming... Well perhaps not charming but the man she loved and had always been in love with. Louisa's thoughts turned from Martin to Danny Steel, her boyfriend before Martin. Did she ever love Danny? Or was she waiting for something else to come along, and didn't want to be alone? "Yes probably" she sighed to herself dismayed at the conclusion she had just come to! We had fun together she thought to herself, more fun that I've ever had with Martin. But Martin was a quiet and sensitive man, planning and preparing like the surgeon he was whereas Danny was the complete opposite. Danny was so spontaneous always bringing he home flowers and taking her on a spur of the moment mini break holiday. Danny was fickle like that, just going with the flow, Martin was always saving himself for something better for his full attention, Martin was reliable and steadfast. Some people called him boring, her friend Holly certainly thought so and the villagers found him rude and obnoxious. But Louisa saw past these things to the quietly admiring and genuinely caring Martin Ellingham she saw out of surgery hours.

It was at that moment she knew that she had to go to Martin's house and speak to him. He needed to sort things out and get back to normal, after all it was his birthday and she hadn't given him his presents yet. She had left the most expensive one on the bed when she thought she was never coming back but had planned something more romantic for him. That was it. Louisa was going to find Martin and straighten this whole mess out!  
>First however, she had to get out of the water which would probably prove difficult now her entire body, hair and clothing was sodden. The weight meant that staying afloat with her head above the water in order to swim was practically impossible! Louisa was drifting outward the harbour wall with the tide, and with no means of getting back to shore. Her energy was slowly draining, the water zapping any energy resource which was still available and it seemed like most of her energy was being spent on keeping her warm. Louisa wasn't the strongest swimmer so she kept her head above the water and drifted a little closer towards a boat moored in the bay. Lifting her hand to catch hold of the boat she managed to grip it with her wet and slippery hands. She could hardly feel her hands but she could see from her knuckles turning white that she was gripping hard and was safe... For the time being.<p> 


	10. Darkness

Chapter Ten: Darkness

Authors Note: Hope this one isn't too sad for you all! Please R&R!

He was powering his way up the hill towards the surgery, his legs making short work of the steep incline. Martin was talking to himself under his breath "you need to find her, she needs you, you were a complete arse this evening. She organised the whole evening for you and you ungratefully ruined the whole thing. No wonder she left."

He stopped dead, rooted to the spot his eyes searching the darkness in front of him. He could pick out a figure in the darkness it was moving slowly towards him, Martin could feel his muscles stiffen. He continued to squint at the figure trying to work out who it was, could it be Louisa? As he listened he could hear a dripping noise getting louder as the figure got closer, it sounded like a tap dripping. Martin's mind tried to figure out what he could say to her, he had messed things up enough by pouring his heart out to Pauline earlier this evening. To be honest he didn't have many words left, but he remembered Louisa telling him that 'actions speak louder than words even if you are shouting the words Martin!'

"Hello, who's there?" Martin's voice was much more timid and apprehensive than he intended.

"Hi, is that you? Martin?" Replied the voice, Martin was startled to hear a female voice, it was better than he had hoped for! It was Louisa! Suddenly he heard the figure sobbing and something inside him took over and he took her into an embrace.

"You have to help me" she gasped between sobs into his jacket.

"I'm here for you, don't you ever forget that, I always will be here!" Martin told her, "now lets go inside and get this mess straightened out". With a nod from Louisa he lead her up the steps outside and shut the door firmly behind then, they were back together at last. Martin was determined to put this all behind them; so holding her by the hand he lead her upstairs, with the intention that they could wake up in the morning with clear heads to discuss what had happened.

"No good ever came from talking this late at night, so lets go straight up" Martin muttered to her, his hand still tightly entwined with hers.

"Whatever you say Doc, but don't you wanna to look at this first?" Louisa spoke in a much stronger Cornish accent than usual.

"No, I'm sure it can wait, we can talk in the morning Loui-" Martin stopped to think about what he just heard. 'Whatever you say Doc... DOC?!' Louisa never called him Doc, she always called him Martin. He stepped up the last stairs and reached over to the light switch, they both covered their eyes from the glare of the bright light after the dark Cornish night.

When his eyes were adjusted he removed his hands and set his eyes on a startled, blood soaked, squinting Portwenn local! This wasn't Louisa, it was the postman's wife he treated a few days earlier.

"Where we goin' Doc?" She asked curiously looking around at Martin's landing slightly dazed. Martin was unsure as to how he thought this was Louisa and promptly told the woman to go downstairs to the consulting room. He made up some half thought out excuse as to why he needed to go into his bedroom before meeting her in the consulting room. When she didn't move Martin pointed once again down the stairs "Go downstairs you shouldn't even be up here!" He added never quite meeting her eye!

"But you lead me up 'ere with you, you were 'olding my 'and" she corrected him, if only to see him blush an even deeper shade of maroon. He couldn't even pretend he hadn't and stood looking at his shoes hoping she would just go away!

"I don't think Louisa would be too 'appy with you taking me into your bedroom now would she?" The irritating local was winding him up.

The mention of Louisa's name spurred Martin back to life, he remembered he was looking for her! Just as he was about to look up to talk to the woman on the landing, he saw blood splatter down onto his carpet. Looking up quickly now, he told the woman to stop bleeding on his carpet; to which he exclaimed that she wouldn't be bleeding anywhere if she had the choice! Martin sent the woman once again to the consulting room and reiterated his need to go into his room. Thinking he had sent her off, he sighed to himself, trying to get his head straight and twisted the door handle.

As he opened the door it snagged on something on the inside on the floor of the room. Looking down he saw one of Louisa's slouchy shirts on the floor. He picked it up turning it over in his hands, her scent coming from it as he did so. Martin looked up to see the wardrobe open and only his clothes still hung there. As he stood and opened the door further he saw her draws in his dresser open and absent of clothes too, in fact the whole room was empty without Louisa. This sight reminded him of a time he had hoped to forget...

Schoolboy Martin Ellingham aged 11 year old, got a lift home in one of his classmates' parents' car in the Easter holiday. He intended to surprise his parents with a visit for the weekend during a holiday he was intended to stay at boarding school. It was late a night, so Martin snuck up to the front door and slid his key into the lock and silently let himself in.

Martin kept the lights off and crept up the stairs to his parents' room, quietly opened their door and as he reached for the lights shouted 'surprise!' That word echoed around a recently deserted room. The window had been left open a crack making the room icy cold, like my mothers heart he thought to himself. The coat hangers hung bare in the open wardrobe, where was no bed, no curtains or lights not even a lampshade for the singular bulb that now lit this sorry scene. Martin ran into his room to find his few belongings in a small cardboard box in the middle of his room, but again no furniture. As he explored the rest of the house they all resembled his parents room, desolate and empty. Climbing the stairs back to his undecorated and now unfurnished bedroom the lights went out, the meter had run out. To reactivate the lights Martin needed to put 50p in the meter, as his parents didn't give him pocket money, he had nothing to put into the meter. Even if he had, the slot was so high up on the wall that without a chair to stand on or a parents help, he would have had no chance anyway. After the initial shock of the lights going out, he sighed and continued up the stairs, entering his room he tripped over the box and heard his possessions rolling away from him in the dark.

Young Martin was beside himself, alone in a dark house with all his possessions spread across his room and no one to help him collect them. He swung his backpack onto the floor and proceeded to crawl on his hands and knees to retrieve everything. After a few minutes he came across a small tin, Martin knew immediately what it was, he used to keep his campfire equipment in it from his brief time in the scouts before boarding school. Before now, he had kept it in his bedside table and used to sneak out of the house into the garden with it and make a small fire and pitch his tent to get away from his parents shouting.

Pulling off the lid of the tin, Martin took a large candle (he was saving for a special occasion) and placed it on the wooden floor of the room. He lit it masterfully with the matches he kept in the tin and with the light made quick work of collecting his things. That night little Marty slept on the floor of his old bedroom using his backpack as a pillow and his coat as a blanket. As the candle flickered lulling him into a deep sleep the last thought on his mind was 'why have they left without me or any of my belongings?'

"Oh would you look at that? You've been left a present, is it your birthday Doc?" Enquired the voice which snapped Martin out of his nightmarish childhood flashback. He remembered being glad for his Auntie Joan who came to get him the next morning and allowed him to stay with her until the term at school started again.

Martin looked over his shoulder to the woman who was still bleeding on his carpet, the one he thought he had sent downstairs. She had clearly been stood behind him watching him intently the whole time.

"Just go downstairs Mrs..." Martin started.

"Mrs Lakeland, Betty Lakeland" she finished for him and reluctantly made her way downstairs holding her arm in the air with instruction from Martin. He watched her go, making sure she really had left before he moved across to the purple gift wrapped present with gold ribbon. Reaching across to the note tucked under the ribbon which encased the gift he lifted it to read 'I hope you had a wonderful birthday Martin, All my love Louisa xx'

Placing the card on the bed, Martin reached for the gift but before he could open it he heard an almighty crash from downstairs. Rolling his eyes, he knew he would have to deal with the imbecile downstairs before he could see what Louisa bought him for his special day.


	11. Determination

Chapter Eleven: Determination

Authors note: Hold onto your hats folks, this is going to be a long chapter! I hand write all my chapters first before typing and uploading them, this chapter reached a mammoth 10 pages of A4 but I knew I wanted to get to this point before ending the chapter! Please review the chapter even if you aren't a member of I have enabled anon review! I love hearing your feedback so please get in touch and tell me what you thought! Xx

Catching her breath, she looked up again to Martin's house determined to speak to him! Then Louisa looked to the shoreline, it seemed miles away, an impossible task with the very little energy she had left. Moving her other hand to grip the boat, Louisa attempted to pull herself up into the boat in order to reserve some precious energy. As hard as she tried her arms would not support the weight of her body, the royal blue dress she wore was almost black with all the water it had absorbed. It certainly was majorly hindering her ability to move, but was also acting like a wet suit by keeping her warm.

Louisa needed to make a decision, lose the dress or lose the fight to get back to shore. It wasn't a hard decision in the end and she remembered having clothes back on the beach she could put on afterwards.

Hooking her right arm over the boat Louisa unclasped the silver pin from the right shoulder of her dress with her free left hand and dropped it into the bottom of the boat with a thud. Letting the material fall off her shoulder she moved it under her arm and placed it in the boat too. Although the fabric was still attached to the dress a significant weight had been lifted from her shoulders...literally! For the next part she would need both arms to unzip the dress at the side. Louisa put her chin over the side of the boat and began treading water, moving her hands to the zip she began to fumble, unable to work the zip she made the mistake of trying to look down. Louisa's body plunged deep into the water still struggling with her dress. Ensuring she could hold her breath long enough, she forced the dress open ripping down the nearest seam then kicking her legs hard as she propelled herself to the surface. As her head broke the water she took an almighty gasp of air, filling her lungs deep and clutched at the boat for stability once more.

Now significantly lighter, Louisa could plan her route back to shore, turning to face the challenge her heart sank. It was so far away, she was very close to the harbour wall in her current position and there were three boats between her and the beach and two between her and the rocks which were closer. The sea only started getting deep half way into the harbour- that's how I was able to walk so far out she thought to herself. Taking one last longing look at Martin's house she saw a light switch on upstairs, knowing he was in spurred Louisa into action; she had to move now!

Taking a deep breath she pushed away from the boat with as much force as she could muster. It was much easier to swim without the weight of her dress, but this advantage was counteracted with the fact she'd been in the water so long her arms had become stiff and unresponsive. Louisa pushed on, willing her legs which were doing the majority of the work to hold out until the next boat where she could rest.

By the time reached the said boat, she was panting for breath and her whole body was shaking. Clutching hold of the boat Louisa hung there for at least 5 minutes before she convinced herself she had to continue!

As Louisa pushed off from the second boat she felt an immense pain in her right leg. It sent spasms into her foot, pins and needles radiated up her whole leg. Getting cramp was definitely the last thing she needed. It was only a short distance but with only one functioning leg and pain than was making her eyes water she was utterly exhausted when she reached the refuge of the boat. This time Louisa knew she needed to get out of the water in order to stretch the cramp out, for her to have a chance of getting to shore; and by extension Martin.

Finding strength from somewhere she hauled her freezing body from the icy grasps of the tide. As soon as her shoulders were exposed to the cool air she shivered furiously, she was so cold her teeth were chattering. Louisa knew that cold as the water was, it was keeping her marginally warmer and she would have to get back in it when the pain had passed.

Attempting to stretch cramp from a leg you can hardly feel with hands you definitely cannot feel is not easy! Several times Louisa thought she had succeeded but on moving she discovered the searing pain was still lurking in her muscles.

The moon disappeared behind a patch of mottled grey cloud leaving Louisa stranded on a boat in the middle of the harbour in near darkness. As she could do nothing but wait until the cloud had disbanded she finally could get the pain from her leg and reserve some energy. Despite the reasonably mild night Louisa was still shivering all over, she knew as soon as the moon was back she HAD to get back in the water.

There were moments in the 3 minutes the moon took to reappear when she wished she had kept her dress on and her dignity. She felt so exposed and vulnerable in her underwear! But as soon as those thoughts came into her head she banished it knowing she had only got this far because of that decision. From what she could remember of the harbour she looked over the rocks around 150m from the boat. She knew she could climb across those, get some warm clothes and go and see Martin.

After what seemed like hours the shimmering silver moon poked its shy face from the protection of the clouds once more. With a determined inhale of breath Louisa forced her aching legs over the side of the boat and slid back into the water, a welcome break from the cold winds. Her body was soon used to the temperature of the water again and she could swim on, wanting to keep up her spirits she found herself humming 'Make You Feel my Love' by Adele and noticed how much she connected with some of the lyrics.

About 30 metres to go from the rocks, Louisa had an overwhelming urge to sleep. This often happened when her anaemia came on and she needed something to eat or drink to boost her energy. Turning onto her back so she could swim looking at the stars Louisa made steading progress and she made it to the rocks in a few minutes.

For a long long time she just lay on the highest rock she could drag herself onto. The water was still lapping and her feet and she was freezing cold but she was safe she was on land, more or less. Opening her eyes, she saw a rock obstacle course, 200m long with the most direct route perhaps longer if she had to go back.

Pushing herself to her feet, her knees knocking together and dripping water all over the rocks making them slippy she advanced with great caution across the rocks. Louisa remembered as a child a piece of advice she was given when she used to climb out to the rock pools at low tide with her sketch pad to draw the sea creatures. This advice was to keep at least 3 points of contact on the rocks at all time and so this is something she tried to stick to now. Louisa was certainly better and rock clambering than she ever had been at swimming so this gave her some confidence in the next leg of the journey. This confidence was rewarded as she made steady progress across the first half of the stretch, the rocks were reasonably large and flat and there were lots of places to hold onto. But as she looked to the second half the path it looked a little more challenging but nothing she couldn't handle after her disaster of an evening. Taking smaller steps and making smaller moves kept Louisa safe, she was being over careful and her progress and slowed down no end but she was safe.

Gaining confidence Louisa moved her hand forward to the next rock as she had been doing, she moved her other hand and shifted her leg and weight forward, the end was in sight! As she put her second hand down she felt something immensely slimy underneath, her hand slipped off the rocks and with her transferred weight she couldn't find anywhere for her foot to go before she went toppling into the rock in front. Grazing her shins and forearms against the barnacles as she fell down the sharp rock the one she had intended to go around. Louisa winced as she twisted her ankle on the rocks below, as they collided. She cursed loudly grabbing hold of it, slowly rotating her ankle to check it wasn't broken was painful but she knew it was still intact.

Clearly and rightfully shaken from yet another set back, Louisa sobbed her eyes red. Her arms and legs were stinging from the salt of the water where she was sat in the sea, her ankle hurt, she was wet, cold and completely miserable. It was too dark to see the full extent of her injuries but she was certainly bleeding from one of her shins and more significantly from her forearms which took the brunt of her fall. Her right palm was stinging too, she had probably cut that as well, she hoped the healing properties of the sea would help as she dunked her hand in to clean it. Louisa was about ready to give up and lie on the top of the rocks for the tide to take her!

The remainder of the traverse across the rocks was slow and reasonably uneventful once she talked herself into continuing. Her argument to herself was that she had come this far and it would be foolish to give up now! At one point Louisa came to a dead end with a large drop, so had to retrace her bloody footsteps and find a new path to the shore.

Sand between her toes had never felt so good, she wanted to flop down and kiss the land she was now well and truly safe upon. She thought better of it, sand and cuts was not a good idea and being still damp the sand would have stuck all over her. Looking up she could see a figure on the platt, ignoring them Louisa made her way towards the rock she left her suitcase on, to access her clothes. Louisa walked with a significant limp from the ankle she twisted in her fall in the rock pool. She grimaced with pain every time she put weight on the injury, it wasn't unbearable and she was in no rush! Looking up, the figure she spotted earlier was advancing towards her on the beach. They were walking much quicker than Louisa was able to but they were also heading towards her rock. As she got closer Louisa could see the figure crouched down behind the rock and her suitcase nowhere to be seen. She knew the figure must have it, moving slowly she wanted to check without alarming the thief!

'What are you doing?' Louisa's voice sounded exhausted and timid, with the first hint of sound the hooded figure looked up at her. Within a split second the figure had bolted! In one swift almost rehearsed move they had swiped up Louisa's suitcase and made a run for the town. Without a second thought for her own welfare, and fiercely possessive of her belongings she tore after the figure. She only made it a few yards before she fell to the ground with a scream her ankle fit to burst!

The pursued figure turned to look at the woman sprawled on the beach 50m away, they took this opportunity to do up the suitcase properly. With a triumphant smirk they slowed down their pace to a slow saunter, inconspicuous to any possible passerby!

Delirious yet determined Louisa watched the figure fiddle with the suitcase and start to walk at a slow pace. She knew that would be her chance to catch them, so standing up gingerly she began to run quickly and quietly keeping her winces down to grimaces!

Turning out the harbour and gaining on the figure she followed them down a back alley opposite the beach. Now within arms length of the figure Louisa shouted out to them to stop. To her surprise they did, turning on their heels they swung Louisa's suitcase high in the air and hit her square across the head.

Louisa's unconscious, half clothed, wet, sandy, bloody body crumpled to the floor of this tiny dark backstreet. Her assailant turned off down another street at a fast pace then another, disappearing into the dead night; suitcase in hand without a backwards glance for his victim.


	12. Desperation

Chapter 11: Desperation

**Authors Note**: It seems I start every chapter with an apology and this is no different. I have now finished my time at University, so will have time this summer to complete the story! Thank you for sticking with us OliveLouisa xx

Martin stood at his living room window having dealt with Mrs Lakeland, staring down the hill his house stood aloft scanning the surroundings for a glimpse of Louisa. He was perfectly still, an ominous ghost like figure unable to move, wracked with guilt and fear for driving away the only woman he ever truly loved. Each second felt like a lifetime, he didn't know what else to do. He had contacted all of the people from whom she could have sought refuge, from his hideous behaviour and she was nowhere to be found! He wished he could cry but he was determined to keep watching from his dark window. Another 15 minutes passed, Martin was still in the same place but he had formulated a plan.

Unconscious.

No pain.

No thoughts.

Only silence.

Stillness.

Having not taken his shoes off since arriving home 40 minutes ago, it wasn't long before Martin was ready to leave the house. He vowed silently not to return until he had searched every square inch of the village. She had to be somewhere, with someone, safe. If she didn't need him or want to be near him, he had to at least know she was unharmed. Closing the front door behind him, Martin was greeted by a chill in the air but nothing was going to stop him finding her. He marched down the front steps and down the hill to Bert's restaurant. Opening the gate he scanned the dark decking area for her, and with no luck turned on his heels and headed towards the bottom of the hill.

Darkness was imposing on her, a ringing in her ears so loud it was the only thing to stir her from the deep void in the inner recesses of her brain where she was hiding. Unable to move or even open her eyes, she was exhausted. Louisa wanted to cry out in pain, every part of her body was pulsing and stinging but there was nothing she could do. She slipped back into her unconscious.

Striding across The Platt, he banged on the Crab and Lobster pub door, after a few minutes a very tired landlord opened the door. Confused at the question barked at him by the doc, he shook his head; Louisa was not staying here tonight. In one swift move the pub owner abruptly closed the door and headed back to bed.

Martin looked out over the beach at his feet, closing his eyes for a moment he thought again where she might be. The school was the only place he had not yet tried, it was somewhere Louisa loved and being Portwenn Primary's Head teacher she had her own office. He hoped she was there, peacefully asleep on the floor. He looked over to where the building stood looking out over the harbour opposite his house, Martin often bridged the ocean bottomed chasm between the surgery and the school in his mind and imagined walking over to her. He hated the idea of her being so far away when they were at work, but he could always look across and feel welcomed by the school, knowing she was inside. As Martin turned to walk away from the beach and up to the school, he looked down to see droplets of blood forming a faint trail away from his current location. Someone might be injured, but he needed to find Louisa! Could he forget his Hippocratic Oath this once and find Louisa?

Searing pain in her limbs kept her just on the edge of consciousness, though she could take no action against the feeling. Louisa's long dark hair was stuck to her face, knotted by the sea salt and cold air and despite her best efforts she could not raise an arm to move it. Opening her eyes a crack she could only see darkness, but no matter what she did, the fierce shivering of her body could not be controlled. The cold air stung her eyes and battered her bleeding limbs; she closed her eyes and listened. Hoping, wishing for somebody to come. Anybody?

Martin toyed with the idea for longer than he should have done, Louisa needed him. But so did this person and they were clearly bleeding and most likely to be in a lot of pain. He followed the trail quickly his smart black shoes sounding an echoing click in the surrounding buildings. Comforting himself that he was also helping Louisa, he shouted her name as he walked hoping she might hear him, wherever she was!

The trail he was following became heavier and it was clear the casualty had slowed down as the spots of blood were distributed more evenly.

'Louisa!'

She must have been delusional she thought to herself, thinking she could hear Martin shouting for her.

Then she heard it again. 'LOUISA!' The sound was not so distant…

Her heart leapt, Martin was somewhere close by and he was coming for her. Mustering all the energy she had, she opened her eyes once more and looked around for anything to draw him closer. An empty milk bottle stood just out of her reach. Clawing her body an inch towards it, she stretched out her fingers and tipped the bottle gently towards her. Letting the bottle roll into her grip she held it tight and waiting for the voice once more.

'LOUISA?' It was much closer this time! With her left hand she lifted the bottle a few inches off the floor and with the force she could muster launched it at a wall several metres away. The glass smashed in half and thankfully did not bounce backwards her. Praying that was enough, she closed her eyes once more. Exhausted.

Martin hear something breaking, it sounded like glass or something brittle. He increased the pace even more, it had been close. Coming round the final corner, he squinted down the dimly lit alleyway Louisa lay in. He could see a figure lying there- barely breathing, soaking wet, bleeding and shivering uncontrollably. He sprinted towards her, falling to his knees shouting her name. Feeling her neck for a pulse, he was welcomed with a steady but slow heartbeat- she was ALIVE! Breathing a sigh of relief he checked her airways, breathing and circulation before covering her with his suit jacket and calling for an ambulance.

Although she couldn't open her eyes to look, she knew it was him. She was safe.


	13. Relief

Chapter 13: Relief

**Authors Note**: Here we are, as promised just a short one for the moment! Probably the quickest succession of uploads you've had in a year! Also the last chapter was 12, although I wrote 11 at the top, my mistake! OL x

"Louisa? Can you hear me?" Martin whispered to her, she could hear him in her ear. His voice was rich and soothing; she relaxed knowing whatever happened now Martin had her.

A small smile crept across her face, she couldn't muster the energy to speak or really move and she hoped that was enough for him to know she could hear him. Louisa felt him take her pulse again; perhaps he hadn't seen the smile- she always joked that he was about as subtle as a brick. Concentrating really hard Louisa tried to speak, her throat was sore from all the sea water and as she expected the first time no noise erupted into the surrounding silence.

"M-m-art-" she uttered in a voice more quiet than a mouse, but Martin was waiting silently by her side and he heard it.

"I'm here Louisa, don't worry the ambulance is on the way and I'm, I'm here" he stuttered in a rush, almost getting his words in a muddle. Louisa knew it must be a relief for him to know she was conscious and nodded in response. Starting to lift her left arm gingerly towards Martin, she was immediately hold by him not to move but she needed to move, otherwise how would he know to hold her hand. She was scared, cold and bleeding all she wanted was for some affection and contact with him.

Finally slotting her hand into his she sighed happily, it was a moment or two before he squeezed her hand back. Louisa imagined he was looking at it like an alien specimen who had landed unexpectedly in his grasp. He had a firm grip; it would have been comforting if it didn't put pressure on the cuts she had obtained from her traverse across the rocks. It didn't matter though; he was showing affection towards her which is more than he had done for most of the evening so she put up with the pain.

After a few minutes of stillness and only the sound of Martin's breathing to keep Louisa company, she felt him loosen his grip and place her hand back on the ground. With no energy to fight back Louisa lay still, upset and angry with Martin for not being able to even be that close to her- she must look hideous from all the injuries she had sustained. Still shivering profusely Louisa assumed Martin had left her alone again so she let her tears flow freely. She was surprised that she could still cry on account of all the crying she had done about him earlier in the evening.

Suddenly Louisa felt really dizzy even though she was lying down; it felt like she was on a boat everything apparently moving around her. A lurch in her stomach with a pressure so strong she hardly had time to prepare herself let alone warn Martin, she was sick on the pathway next to her. Coughing pathetically with a sour taste in her mouth Louisa cried harder, she wanted the darkness to engulf her. Louisa felt something wiped around her mouth making her jump from the sudden contact "there is nothing to worry about Louisa" Martin spoke once more his voice seeming to echo in the surrounding darkness.

"Right" he spoke again, she could hear his shoes shuffle around clearly trying to avoid the vomit. But to her elated surprise something extraordinary happened, Martin carefully but precisely picked up Louisa clearly in a bid to move her from the vomit. The close contact with his warm, dry skirt and skin immediately reduced the amount of involuntary shivering Louisa was displaying. Martin must have noticed this too, his medical brain working overtime she thought! She could feel the rush of air and the strange feeling of being in a lift going down; Martin must be placing her down somewhere else. But he didn't put her down, instead gripped her closer to his body trying to transfer his heat to her. She was half curled up, smothered in his jacket and probably bleeding all over him but she didn't mind. She was close to her Martin again. Though she thought it was strange that it was these lengths she had to go to, to get some affection.

Strangely content Louisa was held firmly in Martin's warm grip for what felt like a lifetime, she could breathe in his smell and was gradually feeling her limbs again. However with the developing feeling there was an equal amount of pain for which a grimace crept onto her face, groaning quietly. In the distance she could hear the sound of a vehicle; any weathered Portwenn resident could tell a car or van a mile off because of their rare appearance in their midst.

"Louisa, the ambulance is coming. Everything is going to be fine, um fine" Martin whispered to her, placing an awkward kiss on her soggy hair.

Harsh white headlights lit up the dark village, forcing Louisa to squeeze her eyes even tighter- burying her head into Martin's chest. He didn't let go of her, but she starting to feel him moving again, standing up.

"Hello there, what's the problem sir?" she could hear another voice a man, they were loud and there was some sort of background fuzzing noise which disrupted what she could hear.

"I'm Dr Martin Ellingham, this is Louisa… Louisa Glasson. She has barely opened her eyes since I found her, hardly conscious on my arrival, pulse was slow. Clearly suffering hypothermia, has been vomiting and there are an unknown quantity of lacerations to her body" he gruffly spoke about her.

"This way please Dr Ellingham" the other voice said. She felt Martin walking towards the light and then suddenly it was dimmer again.

"You can put her down now, on the bed will be fine" the man spoke once more. It was a moment before Martin lowered Louisa onto the bed, she felt cold again missing the closeness with him, then the doors were closed behind them and the ambulance started to move away.


	14. Suspense

Chapter 14: Suspense

**Author's Note**: This chapter is going to be slightly out of the ordinary but I dreamt the concept and felt that clearly I needed to write it! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I've pretended Truro was a lot closer to 'Portwenn' than it really is- for ease of getting Louisa to hospital. Also as an actor I clearly have no medical knowledge- the terms used are just stuff I picked up from watching medical dramas! OL xx

The ambulance had been bumbling along the winding back roads away from North Cornwall at high speed for roughly 20 minutes. Martin sat by and watched as the paramedics tended to Louisa, wrapping her in a thermal blanket and monitoring her stats in preparation for their arrival at A&E in Truro in a few minutes. Every time he wanted to make a suggestion to improve their technique while caring for the woman he loved, he was told to keep quiet. He stared at Louisa's pale and bruising face with sadness, feeling immensely guilty about the entire situation.

Louisa began to stir from her deep sleep, feeling surprisingly well. Her head was sore and her body hurt, she was still shivering. Slowly she opened her eyes, and looked to the man sitting next to her. He looked grey with guilt, huge dark circles forming under his eyes as he looked on. His shirt was wet in places and covered in blood but he didn't seem to have noticed. Louisa felt a certain warm, calming feeling in her left hand but looking down there was no obvious reason for it. Returning her gaze to Martin she looked down to where his left hand hung helplessly by his side, after a moment she noticed his other arm was reached out across the ambulance, holding the hand of the woman lying unconscious in the bed opposite them.

For a moment she couldn't focus her eyes, closing them for a minute she heard Martin's voice reassuring them that it wasn't far to go, he whispered her name when he spoke. Louisa looked back to Martin, but realised she wasn't who he was talking to. She stood confused and took several steps towards the woman he was directing his attention to. Staring across, she saw only the woman's head poking out from under a silver blanket, her face was pale and her wet hair hung lank around her face. Although the bruise had not come out yet, it was clear that she was going to have a black eye when her body warmed up enough to resume normal blood flow. Louisa gazed sadly at the woman whose grazed face looked sore and suddenly recognised who it was. Looking at Martin's hand in the woman's, then again at her own empty hand, he was holding her left hand; Louisa could feel that her left hand was warm. What on earth is happening? Louisa closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head violently in a vague attempt to wake herself up. How could she be lying in the bed **and** standing next to Martin in the ambulance? It wasn't possible, she must be hallucinating or dreaming or anything. Feeling confused and sick Louisa sat back down next to Martin as the ambulance jolted over a bump entering the hospital. Clearly it made Martin jump as he lost his grip and dropped the unconscious figure's hand, and Louisa felt her hand go cold again; confirming (however confusingly) that they were both Louisa.

Louisa looked on as Martin exited the ambulance following the paramedics pushing the bed into the emergency department. Gingerly she got up, and stepped out with her bare feet on the cold concrete slabs of the hospital exterior, following Martin's recognisable shadow through the many twists and turns of the endless corridors. Finally she arrived at the cubicle, several minutes behind the paramedics, the other Louisa and Martin. There was already a bustle of noise and commotion with people shouting things like;

'We need FBC's U's and E's!'

'Katie, can you book the patient in for an urgent CT scan, we need to rule out head, neck and back injury.'

'Please can someone try and get a line in?' which was met by 'She is so cold it's really difficult to gain access'.

Louisa hung back behind the curtain, people passing her by without a look. She couldn't quite bring herself to go in and see what was happening.

'Are we ready to do hand-over?' a more familiar voice broke through the murmuring, and when the general noise had died down he began. They must have been in the ambulance with her, all she knew was it wasn't Martin. 'This is Louisa Glasson, a 35 year old female found unconscious, wet and in very little clothing' he continued 'she has sustained a variety of injury, so from top to bottom we have queried concussion as the patient has been unconscious on the way in with a GCS of 6, stirring only momentarily with contact from Dr Ellingham'. There was someone writing down everything the paramedic was saying, Louisa could hear the scratching of the pen on the clipboard. 'The patient is suffering from acute moderate hypothermia with a temperature of 30.3 degrees on our arrival at the scene, which rose slightly in the ambulance once she was covered in some blankets'. The medical staff moved around as several left to organise treatment for Louisa's hypothermia. 'There is a queried fractured right ankle due to localised swelling; the lump on her forehead is rather worrying so I would suggest a head CT'. There was a moment before one other nurse left the cubicle, presumably to order some more tests then without warning Martin suddenly back out of the cubicle looking white and sweating. Simultaneously the paramedic finished the hand over 'She has sustained several long deep lacerations to her forearms, shins and one to her right palm there are other minor cuts and bruises to her face- all unknown in origin'. Louisa nodded knowingly, it was the blood! He hadn't changed a bit and as she looked round he was vomiting into a nearby bin. Walking cautiously over to him, she placed her hand reassuringly on his back, rubbing it to try and comfort him. Martin jumped at her touch, shivered, looked behind him the proceeded to wipe his mouth and return to the cubicle. Louisa followed calling out his name indignantly, confused and upset that he had brushed her off.

Following Martin's tower figure back to the cubicle Louisa looked around the hospital. It was a hub of electricity, noise and emotion she could see how people got so worked up being in hospitals. She wondered how Martin could have put up with this sort of commotion when he had worked as a surgeon. Perhaps the theatre was more of a quiet sanctuary. As she continued to stare blankly around the A&E department she saw a small child with his mother sitting in one of the cubicles. The child was barely conscious and his head rolled from side to side, sobbing quietly. Louisa took several steps towards them feeling immensely sorry for the child when suddenly she was blinded by a light, in one eye then the other. For several minutes afterwards she had to sit and wait for the remnants of the light to fade from her retina.

She stumbled back towards where she could hear Martin's voice shouting at someone for being a moron. She rolled her eyes, typical Martin. Although it warmed her heart over how protective he was, he never shouted at other people like that unless it was to do with her. Taking a deep breath she entered the curtain, pulling it back with one hand. Her eyes were met by a horrible sight. The woman she now recognised to be herself (although still unsure how it was possible) was covered in wires, blankets and smears of blood starting to appear on the crisp white sheets. Looking over her shoulder from the bedside she could see Martin gazing at her, she smiled sadly at him. His gaze was once again passing straight through her to the woman laid out on the bed. Louisa walked towards Martin, reaching out with one hand to touch his cheek. For a moment he didn't move, then with one swift movement batted her away like a fly. Louisa jumped back a pace or two only to be caught in the path of the bed being moved and hearing a quick murmur of radiology by a passing nurse. Martin gave one of the passing doctors who were leaving with Louisa a taut nod before gluing his watering eyes to the floor. Louisa didn't know whether to stay with him or go with the trolley. In the end she decided to stay with Martin- hoping her presence alone would somehow sooth him. As she sat by him she watched his every move; from the twitch of his lip to his slow blinks. She noticed that he was starting to murmur in such a quiet voice she couldn't hear it over the thrum of noise in the department. She moved closer to hear;

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeated over and over.

Louisa swallowed a lump in her throat. She looked at him hardly moving herself. He was still murmuring apologies eyes red and swollen.

"Oh Martin" she started towards him slowly. Knowing how he had reacted the last times she reached out to him she decided against it. Instead she knelt in front of him close to his ear in the hope he would somehow hear her. "Why do we always end up in these situations? Pushing each other away and one or both of us getting hurt… I know you don't mean to do it and I don't mean to react the way I do. I was just upset and hurt by your behaviour. I'm sorry for what I said and for walking out on you" she explained gently and quietly. Looking up she saw Martin gaze had risen from the floor slightly and he appeared to be listening. Or at least it appeared he was hearing something although he looked confused.

"I'm going to be alright Martin, I know it…" she looked him straight in the eyes. He didn't respond merely sighed sadly.

"But the question really is…are we going to be alright?" Louisa bit her lip. Wondering if anything she had said was heard. Watching him for a few moments longer she felt an overwhelming urge to reach out to him. As she moved her left hand towards his she felt an overwhelming compulsion to watch this gesture. Gradually as her hand moved she began to see through it. At first Louisa thought she was seeing things however as her hand became close enough for her to grasp Martin's it was almost entirely translucent. Determined to make contact with Martin she persevered and enclosed his hand in hers, closing her eyes as she did so. Unlike before he didn't flinch, move away or even brush her aside. Carefully opening her eyes she looked down to where she was holding Martin's hand. Yet she couldn't see her hands at all or even her arms. She glanced down to find although she was next to Martin- she had no feet touching the ground.

Suddenly Louisa felt extraordinarily light as if she was floating and as her gaze returned to where Martin sat- he now seemed miles away. All around her everything was becoming bright and white. It was almost blinding. She threw one last glance towards where Martin was sitting many metres away she shouted his name again and again.

Louisa wasn't ready to die but she was fading fast. Soon the light had engulfed her translucent body entirely….


	15. Awake

**Author's Note:** Oh look a Christmas miracle… she's uploaded a new chapter! Merry Christmas you lovely lot- hope you have had a special, love filled day x

Chapter 15: Awake

"Martin?" whispered so quietly that not a soul heard. Louisa started to become more and more conscious that she was unsure of her surroundings. Every inch of her ached, she wasn't even sure she could open her eyes without another pain stirring.

"Martin!" she mustered more strength and her voice sounded more strongly now, with the reassurance that she was still alive and able to be heard. Her voice gradually got louder and louder until she was shouting Martin's name. Her throat hurt and she was sobbing but she couldn't stop. Louisa needed him, more than she could possibly explain; it was like a longing a deep and sudden longing. Somehow she sensed he was near and yelled until he came to her.

Martin was shaken from the depths of his thoughts by a familiar voice. First he thought he was hearing things but soon the voice was loud and unmistakable. It was Louisa! She was shouting his name. Martin looked around scanning for the woman he loved and seeing her in Bay 3 he ran over as fast as he could.

"Louisa, I'm here." he stood awkwardly by her side and stopped himself from reaching out. The sound of his voice soothed her but she was still crying. He didn't know what to do and stood helplessly for a moment. Slowly he reached his hand out and stroked her head "Shhh, there there."

His touch suddenly dried her tears; taking some deep breaths she prepared herself to open her eyes. As she did the lights were so bright and she had to close them again but not before she got a glimpse of Martin's face. Her lovely man! Or was he now? After everything that happened she had no idea where she stood or what he felt about her.

"M-martin… wha-" she started but he soon quieted her.

"Don't try to talk Louisa, you've sustained many injuries and a possible concussion which may be the reason you are confused or upset. But it's nothing to worry about- should right itself in a few days' time." he assured her in the only way he knew how, with hard solid fact. Louisa obey for a moment and then looked at Martin, his gaze snapped away from her to his shoes as soon as she caught his eye. Determined to know what he was thinking she took a moment to gather her thoughts, during which he stood in silence examining his shoes.

"Martin" she spoke softly in that familiar way. This time Martin did not stop her, he somehow felt the urgency. "Where do…How can we…" she struggled to phrase her question, her head felt at sea and her thoughts were a little seasick. "What must you think… of me" she sighed with a small smile gazing her dark eyes at him.

"Louisa...I um…"

"Please sit down, I want you to stay" she willed him to stay, close to her.

"I should really find out what these imbeciles have done with your X-Ray results Louisa" he turned to leave.

"Martin, please. I need to you stay" she raised her voice. He stopped turned to her and slowly walked back towards her standing by her side again. "Sit" she smiled indicating with her head to the chair then instantly regretting the movement. Martin mumbled for her to be careful and with a promise of staying still, he sat beside her.

"I had the strangest dream…." Louisa told Martin, she could see he was trying to look interested but really had no care in what her story was. Every time she blinked she caught him glancing at her monitors and counting in his head.

"I was not in my body, but walking around in this place. I could feel you holding my hand and I could hear you talking to me. I don't really remember what you said. To be honest Martin, I don't even know what day it is anymore" she was breathing deeply, struggling slightly to catch her breath.

"Louisa you need to stop talking now" he told her brashly as he looked again at her monitor. She was offended but couldn't find the words in her head or the breath in her lungs to tell him. Gradually she could no longer hear the bleeping of the machine, Martin's voice or see any of the people around her. Once again Louisa's world faded to black.

Martin watched as the light faded from her eyes for the second time this evening. He felt so helpless, if only there was something he could do…

"She's only fainted due to a lack of oxygen" the nurse smiled at Martin, trying to comfort him.

"I know that!" he snapped. Clearly she didn't appreciate his tone and moved away to check the oxygen mask on Louisa's face.

"Perhaps you could try talking to her" she suggested exiting the curtain before a barrage of abuse came her way. He cleared his throat but couldn't think of anything to say. Mustering up the courage he sat close to her head, closed his eyes and started talking. He didn't know what to say, so he just said anything that came to mind and soon he was describing a heart valve operation and the risk to older patients.

"Martin…w-what are you…talking about?" she groaned with confusion, rubbing her eyes with her hands. She looked down to see a drip in the back of one hand and the temperature monitor adorning her index finger on the opposite hand.

"They told me to talk to you…so I um…was"

"Well could we talk about something else Martin?"

"Fine"

They sat in silence for a minute or two while Louisa waited to see if he would speak again. When he didn't she decided to take the lead.

"Do you want to know what my dream was about?" she looked at him and before he could answer she continued. "I woke up in the ambulance next to you when the injured 'me' was in the bed. Then I followed you around in the hospital and saw people poking and prodding the woman in the bed. I could feel it all even though I was…well…" she looked to him to see how he was taking it. He looked bemused as she expected. "This sounds completely barmy doesn't it" she blushed as Martin nodded.

"Louisa?"

"Yes, Martin?"

"What happened?" it was the question he had wanted to ask from the moment she woke up but he had resisted. He wanted to stop her ridiculous account of her dream. She often told him about her dreams when she woke up and he always failed to convince her that he was interested. It always resulted in her getting upset and him being shouted at.

"Well, I don't remember very much about why we argued" she started, "but I just remember leaving and hoping you would come after me!"

"I did. I did come after you Louisa"

"But I thought you would come straight after me. I suppose you were angry" she added.

"I should have done, I know that now. This is entirely fault…If I hadn't have driven you away like I always do then you wouldn't have ended up like this!"

"You aren't entirely to blame Martin; I should have behaved better too"

"Where did you go?" he asked, remembering his embarrassment with Pauline in Louisa's old house.

"To the harbour… I just wanted to look at the sea. I didn't know what to do- I was so angry with you Martin. You are utterly infuriating at times" she sighed, but squeezed his hand in hers. "I walked into the sea Martin" she said cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I just walked and walked, it was like I was floating my troubles away and then I realised I was in the middle of the harbour I couldn't find a way of getting back. I had to take my dress off to make it easier to swim, then made small trips between the boats over to the rocks" she explained focussing on Martin's hand not his face. He listened intently not wanting to interrupt or say something wrong. He merely nodded in encouragement. "I vaguely remember walking across the rocks but I kept falling down and that my ankle hurt"

"Yes, they have taken an X-ray of your ankle because of the queried fracture. I was telling you about that earlier" he interrupted almost without realising but stopped himself when she gave him a look. "Oh um… sorry" he pursed his lips together in a bit to stop talking.

"It's fine Martin. Once I got out of the water I went over to my suitcase on the beach but someone was trying to steal it" the recollection haunting her. "So I followed them and they hit me across the face with my suitcase" she grimaced and the pain still niggling in her head. "That's all I really remember, then you arrived. Then I woke up in the ambulance but like I said before, there was another 'me' still lying in the bed"

"Louisa, you shouldn't have gone in the sea. We have had to wait until your temperature returned to normal before we were able to treat any of your wounds or X-ray you" he explained as gently as possible. "It was not a sensible idea Louisa"

"Yes alright Martin. I wasn't thinking straight!" Louisa defended herself indignantly. "What else is wrong with me?" she enquired.

"Well…um… queried impact fracture of the right tibial bone, you have lacerations to most extremities, concussion and a series of superficial bruises" he replied simply as if reeling off a shopping list.

"And in simple terms" she looked bemused

"Broken right ankle, deep cuts to your arms and legs, bruising and a bump on the head… if you will"

"Right… but I'm going to be alright?"

"Yes of course"

With their hands tightly grasped in one another's they sat quietly for a while just enjoying being back together. Though neither of them dared to admit it…


	16. Repairs

**Author's Note: **Thought a few people might like an update, perhaps the reviews were a hint! Sorry it's taken so long again, being an actor is a busy busy job! Enjoy OL x

Chapter 16: Repairs

"Miss Glasson" a gentle quiet voice stirred Louisa from her state of dozing. "Miss Glasson, can you hear me? I have some news to share with you" the voice continued. She opened her eyes slowly and once the foggy blur had cleared she saw a short blonde haired consultant stood by her bedside beaming at her. Looking around she also saw Martin asleep in the visitor's chair and smiled.

"Please just call me Louisa, Dr…?" she grasped around for a name, although she wasn't sure she'd ever seen this man before.

"Dr Lawrence" he beamed at her again, "You were unconscious the last time, so I would be surprised if you remembered my name" he snorted as he laughed. Louisa nodded trying to put the man at ease. "Shall we wake up your partner so we can discuss the next steps" he asked.

"Oh, he's not my partner. He's just my…." Louisa sighed, what on earth was Martin to her now? Dr Lawrence saw immediately he had caused a sticky situation and apologised.

"Right, Louisa. I have some good news you have no skull fractures and the confusion you feel is merely concussion which should right itself in a few days to a week's time. Your body temperature has returned to normal so we can stitch up the cuts to your arms and legs- a nurse will be around to do that in a short while. The only bad news I have to bring you is that you have, as we suspected, broken your right ankle and this will need to be put into plaster for at least 6 weeks while the bone heals. The lacerations to your legs which fall around where the plaster will be have to be stitched with special dissolvable stitches as they will heal long before the break" he told Louisa carefully. "Do you have any questions?"

"It's just a lot of information to take in" Louisa felt tears forming in her eyes she blinked furiously to try and control them, but they just fell faster. The consultant handed her a tissue as his bleeper went off and he quickly excused himself.

Martin groaned from his uncomfortable position in the visitors chair and knocked off the blanket a nurse had placed over him several hours previously. Louisa looked over at him, and reached out her hand towards him.

"Martin" she sobbed "Martin?"

"Uh, what? What's happening? Louisa" Martin shot upright in the chair his eyes quickly settling on her and his stomach immediately twisting on seeing her crying. "What's wrong?" he asked. Louisa shook her head unable to form words; she just wanted to be held- her insistent hand reaching for him. Martin was so confused, he had been dreaming about being on the beach with is Aunty Joan during a school holiday. He had been digging a hole in the sand and filling it with water to calculate the density and absorbency of the sand itself. This was one of his most favourite childhood memories; somewhere he understood and was safe. Louisa crying was something he was very unsure about and so he sat glumly looking at her outstretched hand.

"Martin?! Hold me?" Louisa gasped. She wasn't even sure why she was crying, her head was spinning and she was confused but she didn't feel sad. She watched Martin shuffle his chair towards her and put on hand across her torso and the other on top of her head. Louisa clung to Martin's arm and gradually he relaxed into it, holding her more gently and lovingly. As time passed Louisa became calm and was able to explain what Dr Lawrence had told her. Just as she finished explaining, a nurse swept around the curtain with a trolley of suturing equipment.

"Hello, Nurse Uphurst here! Just come to suture your lacerations Miss Glasson" she bustled over to Louisa.

"Hello" Louisa said uncertainly, looking over at Martin was looking wholly unimpressed at the general jollity of the woman.

"Nothing to worry about, are you in any pain at the moment?" she asked. Louisa shook her head; she had had quite a few sets of drugs to help with the pain in her ankle and the cuts. "That's good to know, shall I start on legs or arms? Do you have a preference?" the nurse asked. Louisa shook her head again, looking to Martin for an answer.

"Legs" Martin spoke abruptly. Louisa added the 'please' on for him. Nurse Uphurst nodded smiling; she had seen many over protective partners before. She knew to not be offended and continue as normal. "Remember she has a broken bone in her right ankle" Martin reminded the nurse.

"Yes, thank you I will do. Luckily she has no cuts directly around the break just a little higher up her leg" she smiled at Martin.

"I'm a doctor, you don't have to simplify this for me" he snapped.

"Martin, she is only trying to help. Shhhh" Louisa scolded him and flashed a smile at the poor woman who was starting to look a little bewildered by Martin's behaviour.

After a rather painful 40 minutes, all of Louisa's cuts had been cleaned, closed and dressed. She looked slightly like a Halloween mummy with all the bandages which had been applied to keep the dressings in place. Next she was to have her ankle plastered. Martin was looking grey, he had been sick several times during the suturing, but had held her hand for support as much as he could.

"Martin?" Louisa spoke quietly "Don't you have surgery today?"

"Yes, but I have already spoken to Pauline and cancelled all of appointments until 3pm. I thought you would probably be done by then" he nodded.

"Oh I see" Louisa smiled. It was nice that he wanted to stay but she could see it was making him uncomfortable. He was probably itching to get back to the surgery. "Look Martin, if you need to go, I don't mind. You've already done enough"

"You don't want me to stay?" he asked looking longingly into her dark brown eyes. He wanted to be here with her so much more than with the patients of Portwenn.

"I want you do, but I don't need you to" Louisa wanted to make his decision easier. "Unless you happen to like spending your time in this place watching people prod and poke me" she finished.

"Well I, um" he stuttered. Perhaps she doesn't want me here after all he thought to himself. "I'll go then?" he nodded once more.

"Ok Martin, I'll see you around then?" Louisa tried to smile but it felt very unconvincing. She squeezed his hand warmly, trying to communicate with him that she did want him to stay. Martin was completely torn- he had never stayed anywhere he wasn't wanted. His parents made sure of that when he was a child. He wanted to be with Louisa but she didn't want him there.

Slowly he collected his suit jacket and other possessions and took one last look at the woman he loved. She looked so beautiful despite the stitches, bruises, bumps and the soon to be cast right ankle.

"Bye then, Martin"

"Goodbye Louisa"


End file.
